Monthly Archives: December 2000

cause all he is thinking about is her and how he misses her so much…
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Current music: the hum of the laptop….

and OMG…That’s a lot of T,D,and A on that thread. I’ll have to goto the computer lab and check it out so that it doesn’t take forever to load, like it did with this 28k modem that my dad has. I wonder if it’ll be too late to put up a pic or two of my own by time I get back to CA.
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Now I know why I woke up early…because I have major LBM going on today. Yuck!!! Anyway, finished cleaning downstairs. Used the new Spot Cleaner Vaccum to clean the poop spots that the kitten left behind the TV. Yum. So the only things left to clean are the upstairs bathroom, I need to clean Eric’s drawers, and maybe organize one of Dad’s rooms. **sigh** I wish. I am so drained right now. I think that I wished for this though; to be cleansed. I am def. getting a cleansing. I am really feeling out of it. Maybe I should go lay down. Since I will be here until the 2nd, I got time to get out all the stuff that I want to say.
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Never is a long time…
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Don’t know why I am up so early. But at least I feel good. My cold is still kinda here, but I feel so much better. Have a plan on the stuff that I need to do when I get back. Got to goto Solano and take care of business. Need to decide if I’m going to go home tomorrow or should I stay through New Year’s. It would be cool to celebrate New Year’s someplace else and it would be cool to goto the LJ NYE party and put some faces to some of the names. But then again, lots of people read Suzanne’s journal, and I don’t know how they would treat me. And then if I leave later, I would have to deal with more traffic. And I don’t think that I will get anybody to pick me up at the airport. I wish that I could check my mail (snail mail); I wonder if I got any other xmas cards. Well at least everybody else got theirs. Hmmm, mom is awake and making noises. I wonder if I should go back to sleep….
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I have no idea what to type…
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Best quote of the night and probably of the month:
Sometimes when I think of two witches casting a spell together, I cast a spell myself…
-Zander on Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, screw what others may think of me. Angel is pretty good too. (O.K. this episode was just ok.) OMG…Willow and Tara in the back of Zander’s ice cream truck. Can you say sching!?! Too bad that they didn’t show the kiss that they had. Actually the scene in Willow’s dream was cool when she was painting the stuff of Tara’s back; very erotic scene.
Yet another pleasure that I allow myself. It’s so bad but it feels so good.
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Screw the Powerpuff girls…Mange is my new superhero. Even if she can only fight at night.
Current mood: happy
Current music: Watching the Powerpuff girls on T.V.

Well, the downstairs is cleaned. I still need to vaccum upstairs and clean the bathroom. Eric’s room is also cleaned. I hid some of his stuff (ie drugs(I think it’s just Vicatin) and his condoms). I’m sure mom knows that he isn’t a virgin, but I bet she doesn’t know that he’s had sex in the house.
Hmmm…Our household is….not the household that it used to be. I remember when I was younger when our house in Korea was like Camelot. My dad was respected by all. I knew because of all the plaques and awards in his office at home. My mom was a queen, beautiful and regal. I remember watching her at home when gues would come over and recieve the gifts and praises due to her.
Has the oldest son of the royal family, I watched my parents, learning the ways of royalty, being the good son that I was expected to be and to carry on with the family legacy. My brother, being the youngest, was the spoiled baby of the family. I guess I was spoiled to, but I was a picky spoiled child; I would only let myself be spoiled with the expensive and good stuff. My brother was not has discerning. But it wasn’t like we were brats or anything. I think that we were pretty good kids growing up. There were kids a lot worse than up.
Now I look at our family. My father is still respected by his peers. My mother still gets tribute from those that she knows. But somehow I feel like our family has been dislodged from the place that we are suppose to be at. My brother has totally lost his way; hopefully he has found the path again on his trip around the U.S. building houses with his church group.
And me…I feel that my parents have this blind faith with me sometimes. Like they realize that both of their children have failed, compared to other Korean children. With my brother, they have almost given up hope with him. With me, it’s like they have locked their perception of me and think that I am still 21 or something, almost ready to finish school even though I will be 27 next year and going into my 9th year of college.
When I finally finish with school, my mom wants me to move up here in Washington. I wonder if I will get the chance. My body still hasn’t gotten over the cold that I have had for almost a month now. I think that it serious shit that I’m in. I think that my self destructive actions of the present and the past have finaly caught up to me. I guess the Tiger cannot always be lucky.
Throughout the years, I have consistently wished for two things in my live; to be happy and to die. Now that I have had one of those wishes come true, I wonder if now the other wish is manifesting itself?
**sigh** Something to meditate on while I clean the bathroom.
Current mood: contemplative
Current music: Listening to a Korean Game show on the TV with my mom

According to my boss, Boxing Day is when the Canadians go to the store to return Xmas presents that they didn’t like and get new ones. I don’t know if that is true or not, but my boss kept a straight face when she said it.
Anyway, it’s hard for me to return a check for money from my parents. So I think that I’ll keep it. Anyway, today is cleaning day with mom; I’ll probably clean Eric’s room and the bathroom upstairs and we’ll both clean all of downstairs. I know that that sounds boring, but honestly I can’t wait. It a way for me and my mom to talk about things going on and to be closer.
I tried to sent out xmas emails, but I haven’t updated my Yahoo address book yet and actually, I just got so impatient with the slow internet connections on the computers here. I should go and buy a new modem, at least for my dad. But I’m hoping that he gets a new computer soon. Maybe I’ll take a look at Eric’s computer and see what’s wrong with it.
At least all the xmas cards got sent out. I left a message for Mike or Randy to mail out the last cards that I had forgotten to mail. I got gifts for some people to deliver when I get back. And I still don’t have plans for New Years. Looks like it will be just me and that big ass bottle of champagne that Amber got for me.
O.K. The kittens are all in my cereal bowl. Time to kick some kitty butt.
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