Category Archives: Uncategorized

Music habits

Driving to Vacaville last night I realize why my listening has gone down. Since I don’t have a 1.5/2 hour commute anymore no need to listen to music on the way home. I listen sometimes at work, but usually I’m interrupted or I have to go and check on something so it’s not really consistent.

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Spiderweb

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Fake news!!!

The Kaiser self check scale is built on lies. Sure, I fudge my center of gravity to take a pound or two off the scale in the morning. But I am NOT 225lbs.

Positivity

So the journal entry that I wrote at IHOP got dark pretty quick. 2022 wasn’t a total dumpster fire that I made it out to be. Most importantly, I am finally living by myself without any roommates or family. And I did it for an entire year. Try not to think about the negatives of being alone, but it’s an achievement almost 30 years in the making, so I should feel some accomplishment. Going out to the East Coast was another achievement. Seeing the fam, going to a WaWa, and visiting dad was def a great experience. Float therapy has also been a positive experience. It hasn’t been the conscious experience that I was hoping for yet, but it has been something to look forward too and I think the mind clarity that I’m looking for is just around the corner.

My mind is trying to tell me that it’s so little compared to all the pain, suffering, and disappointment I’ve had this year. But I’m trying to tell myself that I have to accept the good and that it wasn’t all bad.

Sensory memories

I smelled and tasted you so vividly, it was like you were in bed laying next to me. I didn’t want to open my eyes, but I wanted it to be real.

I hope you are doing well and I miss you. Maybe I’ll catch your scent in my dreams once again…

Accomplishments…

  • Cooked dinner
  • Went grocery shopping
  • Put dishes away
  • Cleaned countertop
  • Organized underwear drawer

I’m supposed to acknowledge this as an accomplishment and trying not to dwell on how basic it is.

12 years and nothing has changed

Thanksgiving…

I am thankful for my friends and family knowing that they will be there whenever I figure out whatever it is that I need to figure out…

True test of vaccine

At the movie theater in the dying mall near my apartment to see Wakanda Forever. True test of my Morderna and Pfizer vaccines. Bonus no mask.

At least the theater is empty

**edit** I have a cold. 🤧🤮

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I Voted Today