Category Archives: Uncategorized

I know from movies that it isn’t easy being able to read peoples mind. Hi junks and wacky situations ensue and while I might temporarily loose her, I’ll get the girl of my dreams in the end. Still I wonder if a glimpse would help me get perspective or confirm my thoughts and fears.

Out at Black Bear for breakfast. I feel like I should go and drive the coast today, but not in the mood to be out and alone. Although the alternate of staying home and basting in the dry heat isn’t really thrilling me either. But it would save energy and money just sleeping and wasting the day/weekend…again. Hard enough just to get energy to do breakfast. **sigh**. Just alone I am so empty. I’m a parasite that needs to feed off of others.

It’s been over an hour and I still feel like I was attacked because I put over $60 in gas into my Honda Civic. I am still processing the emotions of this action.

I’ve posted this before but why do I spend all day unmotivated and wait until after midnight to actually try to be productive.  **sigh** Mayve one day I will own a house and won’t have to worry about downstair neighbors when I want to vacuum the house at 2AM in the morning.

Does going out for breakfast really make me happy? Or is it just a distraction, filling the void with food and a check mark off a list to my therapist and to myself that I did go out instead of staying in bed all weekend.

Friday: ok I’m going to get chores done, catch up on work, and finish unpacking.

Saturday:

Sunday:

Sunday 11pm: Ok fine! I’ll make my bed. Happy?!?

Looking out the Ikea cafeteria towards San Francisco, as the golden sun shines down on it and reflects its light off the waters of the bay. As Karl slowly comes in from the pacific, diffusing the landscape to give it a dreamy, ethereal look. I can put away the ugly horrific truths of the city and lazily float on the dreams I once had about the city.