I wonder how other people see me

I know from movies that it isn’t easy being able to read peoples mind. Hi junks and wacky situations ensue and while I might temporarily loose her, I’ll get the girl of my dreams in the end. Still I wonder if a glimpse would help me get perspective or confirm my thoughts and fears.


I saw a car

Another hot weekend

Out at Black Bear for breakfast. I feel like I should go and drive the coast today, but not in the mood to be out and alone. Although the alternate of staying home and basting in the dry heat isn’t really thrilling me either. But it would save energy and money just sleeping and wasting the day/weekend…again. Hard enough just to get energy to do breakfast. **sigh**. Just alone I am so empty. I’m a parasite that needs to feed off of others.

Feeling attacked

It’s been over an hour and I still feel like I was attacked because I put over $60 in gas into my Honda Civic. I am still processing the emotions of this action.

This is how they are going to find me…

Lying on the floor in the spare room in my underwear with the A/C cranked all the way down with this white stake that fell from the ceiling and pierced me through my heart.

Why do I do this to myself…

I’ve posted this before but why do I spend all day unmotivated and wait until after midnight to actually try to be productive.  **sigh** Mayve one day I will own a house and won’t have to worry about downstair neighbors when I want to vacuum the house at 2AM in the morning.


Easter Bunny

Young Joe sitting on the lap of the Easter Bunny

Went through the photo books while out on the East Coast. Going to take me a while to edit and try to clean them up.


Does going out for breakfast really make me happy? Or is it just a distraction, filling the void with food and a check mark off a list to my therapist and to myself that I did go out instead of staying in bed all weekend.


Converse Custom Hi Tops

Green & Off White custom Converse Hi Tops. They came out pretty nice.

My weekend

Friday: ok I’m going to get chores done, catch up on work, and finish unpacking.



Sunday 11pm: Ok fine! I’ll make my bed. Happy?!?