Covid-19 blues

Laying in my room not going to sleep. Listening to trigger me with his whining. Jealous of being online. Wanting to cut myself to feel something. Seems like I’ve been asking the same question for 20 years now and not finding an answer. Or just ignoring the answer. I have an answer, but apparently it’s the wrong one. Sigh, in two weeks my psych can remind me why it’s the wrong answer.

Book Of Questions: Love And Sex-Question #226

In the early phases of a romance, how much are you influenced by your friends’ and family’s opinions your potential partner?

I think for all the relationships I have been in, I have kept my friends and family away. I don’t think I’ve hidden my partner or have been ashamed of them. With one of them, I knew that they did not like her, so I just kept the two groups away. With another, I was wary of them not liking the new person that I was with (although I didn’t have any reason for that) and got drunk at the first meeting. Luckily they liked her and had a good time with her while I was passed out. The last one wanted the relationship to be quiet. Although I did tell my friends about her and I think that they would have got along, the relationship never made it to that point.

With my parents I always wait I few months to tell my parents so that it’s too late to interfere.

Testing last.fm

www.last.fm/user/horangee/library/tracks

My Top Music According To Last.FM

https://www.last.fm/user/horangee/listening-report/year

Top Tracks

1

Pound Cake / Paris Morton Music 2

 

Pound Cake / Paris Morton Music 2

Drake Feat. Jay-Z

65 scrobbles

2

Crew Love

Love this track

Crew Love

Drake/The Weeknd

56

3

Play track

Aquarius

Love this track

Bated Breath

Tinashe

54

4

Living Inside the Shell

Love this track

Living Inside the Shell

Yoko Kanno

48

5

Play track

Rumours

Love this track

Go Your Own Way

Fleetwood Mac

43

6

Play track

Trilogy

Love this track

House of Balloons / Glass Table Girls

The Weeknd

40

7

Back to bey-sic

Love this track

Part II (On The Run)

Jay-Z feat. Beyoncé

39

8

Play track

Fever To Tell

Love this track

Maps

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

39

9

Play track

Trilogy

Love this track

Heaven or Las Vegas

The Weeknd

37

10

Play track

Take Care (Explicit Deluxe)

Love this track

Over My Dead Body

Drake

35

 

  • ALBUMS SCROBBLED

  • 7,500

Layout:List viewShare…

Rank
Play
Artwork
Album name
Artist name
Buy
Options
Scrobbles

1
Play album
Storyteller: The Complete Anthology
Storyteller: The Complete Anthology
Rod Stewart

258 scrobbles

2
Trilogy (Explicit Version)
Trilogy (Explicit Version)
The Weeknd

220

3
What's Going On [2001 Deluxe Edition]
What’s Going On [2001 Deluxe Edition]
Marvin Gaye

136

4
Play album
Forever
Forever
Johnny Cash

129

5
Rent [Original Broadway Cast]
Rent [Original Broadway Cast]
Jonathan Larson

123

6
Play album
The Limited Series
The Limited Series
Garth Brooks

118

7
30 Greatest Hits
30 Greatest Hits
Aretha Franklin

116

8
The Complete BBC Sessions
The Complete BBC Sessions
Led Zeppelin

116

9
Stand Alone Complex, Vol. 2
Stand Alone Complex, Vol. 2
Yoko Kanno

114

10
Play album
Adapt or Die: Ten Years of Remixes
Adapt or Die: Ten Years of Remixes
Everything But the Girl

111

 

 

 

  • ARTISTS SCROBBLED

  • 5,040

Layout:List viewShare…

Rank
Avatar
Artist name
Options
Scrobbles

1
Avatar for Rockabye Baby!
Rockabye Baby!

905 scrobbles

2
Avatar for BT
BT

524

3
Avatar for Madonna
Madonna

413

4
Avatar for The Weeknd
The Weeknd

357

5
Avatar for Everything But the Girl
Everything But the Girl

338

6
Avatar for Drake
Drake

323

7
Avatar for Marvin Gaye
Marvin Gaye

322

8
Avatar for Rod Stewart
Rod Stewart

318

9
Avatar for Dave Matthews Band
Dave Matthews Band

289

10
Avatar for Led Zeppelin
Led Zeppelin

282

11
Avatar for Garth Brooks
Garth Brooks

255

Election

Crawling out…

Trying to crawl out the pit that I’m in. It’s good that I’ve stop digging for the most part. But even with friends, getting out will be difficult at best. Should I be satisfied that I stop digging and learn to live in this hole that I’ve dug for myself?

..In Bed

..In Bed

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I think I missed my chance…

The answers that I were afraid of are going to go with him to the grave.  Going to have to accept it and move on, whatever that entails.