Monthly Archives: December 2000

I wished that I could just dwell in the memories of Suzanne, but all of it is back at the apartment in letters and on my computer in emails and IM entries…
I guess I will just have to use the memories that are in my head.
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The Good…
While some of the worst things to happen to me involved Suzanne, some of the best times also happened with Suzanne. New Years was one of the best times I have ever had. Valentine’s Day was just a mind blowing experience. But it just wasn’t just the special occasions. Just something has simple as shopping at the mall or watching a movie was an experience that I relished. For the first time since April, Suzanne gave me a reason to love someone else and to love myself. Regardless of the reasons that our relationship ended, I shall always remember the good times and the love that we that we shared.
Working at the warehouse was an overall good experience this year. Several raises and an overall good working atmosphere helped me to truly enjoy work. Any place where you can drink beer and play stickball at has to be a decent place. The paid day off and trip to Great America also helped alot.
The summer roadtrip to L.A. with Shawn, Marie, and Marie’s little brother Ken was also a great event this year. While there were some low points in the trip, the overall trip was a great success in which I got to see some great anime including Princess Mononoke, Gundam Wing’s Endless Waltz, and the main feature The Vision Of Escaflowne movie.
Speaking of Shawn and Marie, I have to thank them for alot this year. For being there for me this year in so many different ways. The biggest thing was once again providing me affordable housing for the summer in Berkeley. But just doing stuff like having movie night at the house with a good dinner and my famous alcohol milk shakes and just being there for me with all the drama that I went though this summer. For that I thank them and I will miss them has they have both moved to the Boston Area.
Other things good that happened to me include the release of Diablo II, the continued life of the 8yr old Metro, the party in Sacramento at Lesa’s, the introduction of Krispy Creme doughnuts and April’s birthday gift to me of Charmin double-ply toilet paper.
I also have to mention the entrance of Livejournal into my life. At the time, I was trying to figure out how I was going to do an journal on my web page. I had seen a couple of other on-line journals, but I did not like their style. Then I saw on April’s web page that she had something called Live Journal. Slowly, I got hooked in the journals of April and other people. And today, I continue to be hooked on Live Journal.
But I guess the best thing to happen to me this year is me getting home for Xmas this year. The past year has been a somewhat trying year for me, especially the last month. Now that I am with my family, I can feel my body, mind, and soul start to heal itself and I feel like I am slowly getting ready to tackle the challenges of the upcomming year.
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The Bad…..
Well, probably the worse thing to happen to me were the two breakups that I’ve had with Suzanne this year. The first one happened in March and the second one happened just a couple of weeks ago. Both of them were initiated by myself without warning to Suzanne. Maybe I was scared of what was happening to me. Maybe I was too lazy to work on our relationship when the going got tough. Maybe I realized that our relationship wasn’t meant to be. Regardless, I went ahead with the breakup. This being the third time, I have decided that I will never again get back in a relationship with Suzanne.
Another disappointing event this year was the number of times I got to go and visit my family in Washington. Due to lack of funds and scheduling, I missed my chance to see them during the summer. And then, I missed my Thanksgiving flight to see them and was unable to get another flight. Although I had a great Thanksgiving dinner at Suzanne’s, the thanksgiving week was basicly ruinned for me.
I think the biggest disappointment this year has to be the whole living arangments for the fall semester. Since the on-campus apartments were behind schedule, the school put us up in the Park Merced apartments next to the campus. On one way, I lucked out since other people were sent either to the Presidio or to Treasure Island. The bad news was the roommate that I was stucked with.
I had thought that the spring semester was a trying time with Tim and his damn alarm clock. But that was just a warm up to the hell that I would have to suffer with Quetzalcoutal(sp?) Cortez. **sigh** The four months that I have shared a room with Quetzal has been a testement to the patience that I have. From him not cleaning anything in the apartment, to the battle that we had one night between the volume of his TV vs. the volume of my radio, we have had a lenghty fight between us. Within tow weeks, I will be away from Quetzal and this nightmare will end.
The lost of my friends has also affected me negatively. Some like Stephanie LaForge, I lost complete contact with. With other, mostlly those in Solano and Sacramento, I have just slowly lost contact with. I haven’t really talked to Lesa for a long time (Ironicly, her and Jarred are the only ones to visit me here in the city.) Mew is the only one who has really made an effert to keep in touch with me. This has affected me deeply and I wonder in the next year how many friends will I have.
Other terrible events included part of the trip to L.A., the damage done to the Metro during the summer and the cost to fix it, the ongoing drama between the warehouse and the various department of the bookstore, the attacks on me from various people on Livejournal for the reak-ups with Suzanne, the lost of several of my friends from the bay area to other parts of California and the U.S., and the double wammy of seeing The Sixth Day with Arnold and Unbreakable with Bruce Willis. Almost has bad has seeing Titan A.E. on a badly focus screen in mono at a theather.
Ok. This 28k is really sucking. I think that I am going to goto sleep and I wil do the good things tommorow.
P.S. Merry Christmas to everyone and their families in Live Journal land.
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Current music: Watchin A Christmas Story on TNT…

ok. time to goto sleep. AOL sucks esp. on a 28k connecion.
Also I made the mistake of reading responses to entries on serraph’s journal and i think that i need to goto sleep before i start saying stuff that i shouldn’t
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**sigh** Well, the cat idea to protect my dreams has come and gone. You know the cousins that Donald Duck has, Heuey, Dewey, and Louie. Well, the kittens that my parents cat had are the equivilent. Instead of being steadfast defenders, they are systematily destroying the room that I’m in. Momma cat isn’t helping, since she is pregnamt again (the slut) and is crying for attention. Blackie, the only same cat has wisely retreated into my parents room for some piece and quiet.
Hmmm, well, I found my brother’s CD cases and he has a trance CD in it. Maybe that will help me fall asleep.
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And it’s just not the same has going shopping with mom. Hmmm, well, I got it done, even though my card was denied (it’s a ATM/Credit Card and my paycheck hasn’t gone through the Credit Card Part.)
Anyway, it just wasn’t the same shopping…I miss shopping with her…But I’m going to resist going to her journal to read what she has to say and what other people who know nothing about our relationship.h
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Not necessarily the ghost of xmas past, but ghost never the less. Her spirit and the spirit of other fly in my dreams and wreck havoc over my sleep. To quote, “I am lookin’ pretty tore up.” I wonder if a witch has put a curse on me or something. Tonight, I’ll let the cats sleep with me. That is suppose to help keep bad dreams away. Of course, that’ll mean that the kittens will probably be the ones keeping me up at night too.
Well, I need to take a shower and go xmas shopping with the family….
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too many thoughts on my mind…
too many thoughts of the past run through my mind…
and the doubts and fears creep back into my mind…
I welcomed the darkness has a way to cover me and to confort me…
But now, it just seems to be so empty and alone…
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O.K. Iron Chef is on. Got to watch with Mom
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1690691
hee hee hee
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