Monthly Archives: March 2001

God, this day feels like it has been a nightmare. But I am still alive, so I guess I have survived it. Got a letter from the dean about my situation, so hopefully I won’t get evicted. I am having second thoughts about moving out of here. Even though I’ve had to put up with alot from the management, the convence is a major consideration, regardless of the price increase. Anyway, I turned the letter in, so hopefully I won’t get evicted.
I can feel the sypmtons of depression starting to dance around me. I am fighting it off for now, but it is hard. I mean, I got home today and just wanted to cry so bad. It didn’t help me watching Dr. Phil on Oprah. **sigh** Lucky, Sessme Street was on and that cheered me up a bit (I know; I know I am such a little child sometimes. But I think that sometimes, you just need to let go of the present and go back to your childhood. Maybe on Thursday, I’ll take a trip to the Children’s Center and watch the children play. It’s like going to the zoo kinda; the kids are in their playground playing around, with a fence seperating you from them. And it has the same rules; don’t stick your hand in the gate and don’t feed them. This probably sounds sick, but I think it is very theraputic.
Well, I am off to shave my head. I think this time I am going to leave the moustache and the goatee. I am also going to pick up that light that I’ve been talking about getting . SFSU is usually pretty foggy since we are close to the ocean, and being in the darkness will not help my depression. the two lightst that I have really don’t luminate the room that much. And then tonight I want to finish my paper also. And I will talk to Suzanne and watch the Janet jackson Icon special on MTV. O.K. I gotta pee really bad.
Current mood: drained
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So Peter has come and gone and I am once again here alone at the warehouse. Peter drives me crazy sometimes cause he bitches and complains about this place and he is actively looking for a new job. That I don’t mind; I mean this job isn’t exactly a career (except for me anyway). He complains that he needs hours, but comes to work late and leaves early. I’ve been kinda hounding him about it, but I think that I will stop. He can just do whatever he wants to.
**sigh** back to the pile of paperwork…yay
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Nothing like the Smurf Song to get the employees motivated.
“I get you Smrfs; if it is the last thing I do…” – Gargamel
**sigh** My coworkers have a truly ecclectic range of music downloaded from Napster
Current mood: quixotic
Current music: The Smurfs Theme Song

Monut the female and then hold on for dear life…l
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**yawn** I want to goto sleep so bad right now, but I can’t; I have too many things to do. Orders need to be filled, recievings need to be done, I still have to finish cleaning the computer room.
I think that I am going to start small and get the stickering done and slowly work my way up to a bigger project.
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I swear sometimes I just want to kill peter. I had a whole long ass journal entry and I get up to do something, and he has closed my window and he is on here working on his screenplay or checking his mail. It’s not like that there are two other computers in the warehouse that he can use.
**sigh** anyway, I sent them off to Bridges to Asia with some books. Bridges to Asia is this group that takes old textbooks and sends them off to Asia to be used in school over there. They should be out of my hair for a little while at least. Actually, I’m kinda jealous cause they get to drive down to the Embarcadero (Bridges to Asia is located at a warehouse at the pier) and enjoy the beautiful day that we are having. Meanwhile, I am stuck in the museum of old computer stuff trying to organize it. blah
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I shouldn’t have made the first comment…
I def. shouldn’t have made the second one…
I honestly thought that she would have called me sometime tonight so that we could talk this thing out.
As much has I just want to hide under my bed and run away from this, there is a bigger part of me that wants to be with her and work through this. But I think that this is something between her and I, not with the rest of the LJ community,
Now I know you all want to tell me that I’m a bastard and stuff; well you can go ahead and do that. But what I would like to ask the community is that they let us work out any problems that we have without their assistance. Thank You.
Suzanne, please call me tomorrow so that we can talk about this. I don’t hate you. What I am is scared and confused. What I will always be is in love with you. When you are ready to talk, please call me.
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So the computer freezes up on me. no big deal, I’ll just go and get my laundry and come back and it should be rebooted by then. So I get back and my computer is going through a demon possession.. There is a BSOD on the monitor, the printer is spitting out blank pages, the DVD and the CD+RW doors are opening and closing and the phone is ringing for no reason. I’m just surprised that the Jack Ball on the radio antenna wasn’t spinning around.
I’ve done a Scan Disk and a Virus check, but they didn’t pick up anything. I don’t know what’s wrong with the machine, but I’m going to overrule the previous sign that I got from God about the computer and def. get a new system when I get my money.
Current mood: scared
Current music: hum of the computer

Now I know why I’ve been smelling jasmine all night….the jasmine bracelet that Suzanne got for me broke.
O.K. Next stroke of bad luck for Joe please.
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Well, I just ruined one of my new pairs of pants….
My khaki’s now have a blue stain all over them cause I washed them with the blue jeans. **sigh** I really liked those pants too.
I wonder if Suzanne is still coming over tonight?
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