Daily Archives: April 29, 2003

Amy just got me hooked on Yahoo! Graffiti. **sigh** It’s going to be all downhill from here…
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OMG is all I have to say about tonight’s Buffy.Talk about shit hitting the fan.. Still all of it needed to be said and stuff. Great episode, even greater next week. **cue porn music** heh. Cant wait to read the forums at Television Without Pity.
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Some reason, it has been a good tuesday so far, even with a manager’s meeting in the morning. I think it must be something in the coffee. Hopefully, the feeling will stay through the week.
Going to meet Amy for lunch in an hour. It’s always an interesting to meet people that you originally met online. Am taking the camera, so hijinks will be recorded.
Need to call Angie to plan for Friday night and X2. Will be nice to see a movie at a theather, it’s been awhile. I think Old School was the last one that I saw.
Need to get some work done before I leave…
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I am still missing Suzanne. And while it hasn’t come to stalking her or anything psychotic like that…well I have been looking at places in Antioch to rent. Not sure if that constitutes stalking or inflicting pain on yourself. Whatever the case, I still can’t get her off of my mind and out of my heart. And to be honest, I don’t want too. My friends/parents think that I need to go out and meet new people. Thank god that my friends are 50 miles away and that my mom is 1,800 miles away. They are all probably right, in the fact that I should get out of the house more. And I try too; that’s why I went up to Sac for a weekend. And I also did Peter’s movie to get out of the house. And I was planning on taking next Tuesday off to goto the Asian Art Museum. But it all seems like a waste of time. I want to be with her. I go through the day wondering where she is at and what is she doing. Def. avoid the who is she doing what with line of questioning. I think the thing is that I still don’t know why we broke up; it was like the rope was cut and the ship was left to drift away. Very incomplete. **sigh** I know the whole conversation that we had was suppose to be “the end of it all”, but it’s not. Not at least for me anyway. I wasn’t expecting much for my birthday, but I was hoping for her to wish me a happy birthday. I wasn’t expecting her to come over with a present and a blow job; just maybe a card, ecard or by mail. Just some kind of recognition. And again, it seems that I got my hopes up for nothing. And I will tell myself that this is it, and that she has moved on and forgotten about me. She is wrapped up in the new guy that loves her and that this time I will move on. And maybe, eventually I will move on. But I won’t. I will wait here, trying to figure out what did I do wrong, wondering if she truly knew how much I love her, and hoping that one day, my best friend will come back into my life.
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So yeah, so I decided to withdraw into myself and take a trip to depresion island for a week or two. It wasn’t the birthday thing that set it off. I think it was just all of the stress of moving out more than anything else. Has I start to get ready to leave here, it just seems that I am deeper and deeper in trouble with the move thing. And I know that Mike didn’t mean to hurt me by deciding to stay, but I am seriously fucked because of it. Well, potential to be fucked.
I haven’t been idle; I have been hitting the boards at school and looking on Criagslist, making a few calls here and there. So far though, no one is being flexible with the deposit. That will be the key thing for me. finding someone who will let me make payments on the deposit. I need to really jump into the thick of things this week, since I’ll be competing with everybody looking for a place for the summer from school.
Mike has already put the room up on Craigslist. However at $850, not sure if he is going to find anyone when people are offering the same room for $800 and less and includes cable and DSL. I hope he realizes that the DSL will be gone when I leave. So on Sunday, he had someone come over to look at the place. So I went to the gym to work out. After my workout, I decided to put an ad in the roommate book that Park Merced has. This girl and her mom were also looking at it so we started talking and I told her how I was paying $925 and that my roommate put me in a situation and we couldn’t come to an agreement and I had to leave. So I told them where I lived and it was the people that Mike showed the room too. Oops! I hope I didn’t ruin it for Mike. Oh well.
So I’ve been looking at places in S.F., but I’ve also thought about living in the East Bay. The rents are lower and even with the commute, I could save money. I would also be able to pay a first and a deposit. The commute would suck, either driving in or BARTing in. However I would be closer to my friends in all directions. Still, since I don’t have money saved that first month would def. be a bitch.
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