O.K. I think that I’m

O.K. I think that I’m just going to spew for a time and what ever comes out, comes out. So without further ado….
Reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair. It’s a good book but I’m having trouble with it. It’s like I know there is a profound message in it, and at times I can feel the meaning or the message brush across my subconcieous. But I can’t grab a hold of it. I have a feeling that I will be reading and rereading this book for a while yet. I’m sure it would have helped last night if I wasn’t having a contest with my bastard roommate over which was louder, my clock radio or his T.V…..
Listening to the City of Angels soundtrack. Originally got it for Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. But found out that there are some other artist on the CD. U2 has a haunting song called If God Will Send His Angels. Then there’s Uninvited by Alanis Morissette. Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton spices up the album a bit. Then there is this song call I Know by Jude that i’ve slowy fallen in love with. It’s a slow ballad song, and I didn’t like it the first time that I heard it. But slowly, it has creeped on me and now I’m wondering what else he has done and if he has a full album out.
But my favorite song on the album is Iris. It’s the orcrastera; I have a thing for somgs with violins and stuff in it. Another reason is because of the video that I made for it. Being the psychopath that I am, I used to think up video to goto songs that I heard on the radio. I could close my eyes and just see the video play in my head. Of course, I would place my friend in the video and myself, of course. I did this in high school but I haven’t really done it since. But for some reason, I totally came up with a complete concept for this song. It involves an angel and a vampire falling in love. I wish that I could write down what I envision, but I can’t. I’ve started a couple of rough drafts of the first scene, but I didn’t like any of them. Basicly the plot is that there is an angel that starts to question her faith and there is a vampire that tries to fight/deny his nature. The vampire is based on Louis from Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles. So one day the vampire see this angel being attacked by other vampires and he resuces her. Later, the vampire is dying and the angel saves him. They become friends and start to fall in love. But of course the angels in heaven and the vampires on earth are against this. The end scene is a fight between this Louis-like Vampire and the head angel. The angel that Louis loves falls from heaven and it is up to Louis to save her. See, rereading that, it looks like crap and there are major holes (how could an angel fall down from heaven if they have wings?) But I’m working on that. Of course, I’ve used people that I know to play roles in the video. I play the Louis/vampire, Suzanne is the angel, Jason is the head angel, and April is in it has a Pandora type vampire…..Ok enough about my psycho ideas…
BTW, I do not like April’s new haircut. And I’m talkin about really not liking it. But I realize that that’s how I had imagines her hairtyle in the video. How wierd.
Started email people that I haven’t talked too in awhile. There are so many people that I have neglectied. In some ways I feel bad. Like Dan, I shouldn’t have spent such a long time not talking to him. But there’s others, like the whole Vacaville gang, that I haven’t talked too in awhile. I did goto Mew’s B-Day dinner and to Amber’s Pumpkin Carving Party. But I don’t know, I just have this feeling that I don’t belong in the group anymore. It’s not like that they have pushed me away. But I think that I just resent the fact that they never call me or anything and that I have to come up to see them. They are up in Sacramento, quit school to work, got their own apts, having babies. ANd then there’s me, STILL in School. **sigh**
I love my girlfriend. Even if she is 5 years younger than me. Her, my brother, and my roommate are all the same age. OLD is what I feel. Just old.
I was told that I need to post something happy. Let’s see. I’m going to see my parents for thanksgiving in two weeks. I’m happy about that. Hmmm. What else. I’m still with Suzanne. Let’s face it, I’m not a happy person.
That’s part of the reason that I didn’t post. Cause my thought went from being sad and depressive to outright hateful. For some reason, I was very upset with different people on livejournal, among other places. I was just angry with everybody. Hmmm. I don’t think I want to get into this right now….
I need to make a new icon. I though I had the hot pants icon that I made awhile ago, but I guess I lost it when I reformatted. Hmm. Mabye that’s what I’ll work on tommorow. What I want to do is a Charlie’s Angels shot with the shilloettes. Another thing that I haven’t done is use my camera. I need to mess around with that this week and take some pics.
Ok. I’m tired and need to goto sleep. Maybe tommorow I’ll try a somewhat more coherrent post and stick to one or two subjects.
Current mood: blah
Current music: City Of Angels Sountrack

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