Monthly Archives: March 2003

I love/hate manager meeting days. The good is of course that I don’t have to “work” until 10 a.m. The bad is that I have to go to the meeting (and I have stay later to make up the hour).
Horoscope for today: Setbacks on the job might have you a little depressed and somewhat worried. Don’t worry, dear Taurus; all will be well. Think of this as a challenge to be overcome. Your natural practicality and efficiency will see you through it. Someone is not being totally honest with you. Encourage people around you to open up and communicate a little. What they say may not be all that agreeable, but at least you’ll be better able to assess the situation.
This one is true enough. Just seems like there is a lot of things on my plate and I’m worried that I am not going to get all of them done.
**choke** OMG: Split level 4 bdrm, 3 bath, 6 years old. Asking $109,000. Open House, 1115 E. Nebraska Ave., Sat. 1-3 or call 384-6636 for appointment. I don’t EVEN want to know what a house like that would cost here in California. Of course, this one is located in Nebraska, so that might have something to do with the price.
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God, I have been trying to post this for the last day or two and am just now getting around to it.
Anyway, was talking to April and she mentioned a long shower that she had. I am the kind of long showers, I love them. It kinda weird since I can’t swim and am not a really big fan of water. Growing up, I don’t think that I took long ones; of course even if I did, I don’t think that my parents would let me. (And just to nip this in the bud, I didn’t masturbate in the shower like a lot of guys do. I could never concentrate with the water running. Probably too much info, but it had to be said…) Once I moved out of the house and into the dorms, that’s when the length of my showers grew.
I love my showers hot, even on a hot summer day. I love the steam billowing up from the bottom of the tub to the ceiling, just swirling around obscuring my sight. I love the water hitting my skin constantly over and over. I just stand there and let the water run over my body for minutes before I even think about cleaning myself. It is just something so healing about it.
One time I took a 2+ hour shower. I think that I was depressed, but I’m not sure. If I looked back in my old journal entries, I might be able to find an entry about it. I turned off the lights, put a towel underneath the door so there was no light coming into the bathroom and just let the hot water flow over me. I remember at one point that I just sat in the tub and let the water fall down onto me. I remember thinking that I could actually see the steam swirling about in the bathroom. It was very peaceful and relaxing…and mind clearing. I think I would have honestly faded away from myself if one of my roommates didn’t knock on the door. O. K. I think this was while I was depressed because this was one of the things that he reported when he reported me to the RA and tried to get me on a suicide watch. Oh man, I wanted to kill him for that….but anyway’s.
So yeah, since we don’t have to pay for water, my showers usually last 30-45 min to the chagrin of my roommate, Mike. I can take quick ones when the need arises, like if Mike needs to take one or if I am at somebody else’s house. Still, I love my long showers; they are some of the few times when my body and mind feel right. Getting out of one, I feel so clean and healthy, even if it’s only for a little while.
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Current mood: mellow
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Livejournal been having problems all day long.
I wonder how many people are going to pack up and move to other places, like Blurty.
Even better, I wonder how long until Blurty has the same problems Livejournal is having.
I need to figure out Moveable Type soon.
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God…this day….Too much stuff to do, not enough time. AARRRGGHHH
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Watched the worse movie that I have ever seen while doing laundry, called Club Fed. It was SO BAD, but I forgot to bring my MP3 Player or something to read, so I had to sit through this atrocious movie. I don’t think that I would wish this on my worse enemy.
Well house is cleaned, clothes are washed, and I practiced on MechWarrior. Almost finish with Eric’s stuff, but am going to take a break and watch The Simpson’s.
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I swear, there is no way I can save money. Last paycheck, I had to pay extra for the cell phone bill; This time, the grocery bill goes up. And I know why too; it’s because I had to buy meat again since I’ve used up all of my gourmet meat that my parents got for me. Poop. So the total was close to what I believed that I had in my checking account, but I wasn’t sure. The thing is, if it would have been over what I had in my acct., my bank would have charged me up the ass and I have been trying to stay in the black, even if I had only pennies in the account. So, I used the $20 that I had gotten for laundry and used that with the card to get the groceries. So now I have to wait everything to go through to see if I have enough for laundry. O. K., I did have enough for laundry in cash until I bought the 2 boxes of Thin Mints from the Girl Scouts. C’ mom, it not like you can walk pass Girl Scout Cookies.
Why did life have to get so complicated? I remember the biggest deal with grocery shopping was trying to decide which cereal to get by comparing the prizes in the boxes and trying to convince mom to get some goodies like Twinkles and Ding-Dongs. And trying to toss out the artichokes and okra out of the shopping cart when she wasn’t looking. **sigh** To be young again…
So I think I have enough for one load of laundry. Guess I will be doing the smell test tonight. Still can’t believe that I went through all of my clothes in two weeks. Priority is always on the underwear.
I wonder if Mike is going to clean the kitchen today. He might have already done it, just did a crappy job.
Well, the car is def. not going to get washed. I might drive it into work one day and use the wet/dry vac to clean the inside. However, the outside will stay dirty for another two weeks.
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• Grocery Shopping
• Laundry
• Eric’s Astrology Stuff
• Emails
• Clean Room
• Clean Bathroom
• Practice Mechwarrior 4
• Wash/Clean Car
• Wash Dishes
• Create Warehouse Manual.

Obviously, some things aren’t going to get done today.
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So after talking to April and telling her to leave work and go out cause it’s such a nice day, I took a shower, got dressed and headed out myself. I went to my local portal of hell, which happens to be the Post Office, to get rent. Actually the line wasn’t that bad, although it took forever for me to get the money orders cause my ATM card is almost unreadable. So after that, I had to get some ice cream; on such a beautiful day and with a Baskin Robbins next door, how could you not. While I was getting my ice cream (Coffee Biscotti), these ghetto kids asked these two ladies if they were in the Girl Scouts. They had army fatigues on. The sad part was that I guess they were out selling candy bars for a charity or something, but was using the money to buy ice cream and pizza. Whatever.
So I’m driving out and I say to myself, “Self (haha), why don’t we drive down to Ocean Beach real quick, just to see what’s going on.” So I did, an it was such a lovely view. Not too many people, a beautiful day, some surfers out on the water. And so I drive on to Lake Merced where I guess they are having some rowing competition. And then I said what the hell, let’s go to Santa Cruz. It’s such a beautiful day, I’ll just drive down Highway 1, stopping on the way at the lighthouse, Mavericks, and the nude beach to take some pictures. Then I’ll get to Santa Cruz and hang out on the Boardwalk, walk on the beach, and just enjoy myself.
So I’m driving down to Pacifica and the view is just beautiful. I am just all stoked for this and then I see this hitchhiker on the side of the road. Maybe he wasn’t a hitchhiker, but he was looking kinda shabby. Anyway, I have my usual quick thoughts about him; Should I have given him a lift, what kind of stories he has, what if it was a girl hitchhiker and I picked her up and we hit it off and we park on the side of the road and I give her the loving that she’s been missing for so long….well, you get the general idea.
But then I start to think about what if I was a hitchhiker, which turns into what if I was a homeless person. Then it just snowballed from there; I’m going to use up so much gas that I can’t afford too; food is going to cost too much at the boardwalk; I have stuff to do at home; pressure, pressure, pressure. And also, I forgot to bring the batteries for the camera. So I turned around and headed home.
The thing is that I can’t be happy by myself. I can’t afford to be happy. Being happy cost too much. Being content is so much more cost efficient. I should just focus on being content and staying content. It was wrong of me to try and find happiness when I should have been looking for safety and contentment.
I don’t know what I’m spouting out. All that I know is that the sun is finally in my room and that I am going to lay in the safety of my bed and be content as the sunbeams wash over my body for the next couple of hours.
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Current music: Fiona Apple – I Know