Monthly Archives: January 2001

Hmmm…..Looking at the Creativity 101 projects. Thinking about doing one. I might have an idea or two….I don’t know….I’m not that good or anything. I’ll have to think about it some….
Current mood: thoughtful
Current music: Tori Amos – Silent All These Years

Does it even matter, since according to Christians, D&D is evil. But anyway here are the alignment that I think might fit me.
NEUTRAL GOOD: “These characters believe that a balance of forces is important, but that the concerns of law and chaos do not moderate the need for good. Since the universe is vast and contains many creatures striving for different goals, a determined pursuit of good will not upset the balance; it may even maintain it. If fostering good means supporting organized society, then that is what must be done. If good can only come about through the overthrow of existing social order, so be it. Social structure itself has no innate value to them. A baron who violates the orders of his king to destroy something he sees as evil is an example of a neutral good character.”
CHAOTIC GOOD: “Chaotic good characters are individuals who are marked by a streak of kindness and benevolence. They believe in all the virtues of goodness and right, but they have little use for laws and regulations. They have no use for people who “try to push folk around and tell them what to do.” Their actions are guided by their own moral compass which, although good, may not always be in perfect agreement with the rest of society. A brave frontiersman forever moving on as settlers follow in his wake is an example of a chaotic good character.”
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL: “Chaotic neutral characters believe that there is no order to anything, including their own actions. With this as a guiding principle, they tend to follow whatever whim strikes them at the moment. Good and evil are irrelevant when making a decision. Chaotic neutral characters are extremely difficult to deal with. Such characters have been known to cheerfully and for no apparent purpose gamble away everything on the roll of a single die. They are almost totally unreliable. In fact, the only reliable thing about them is that they cannot be relied upon! This alignment is perhaps the most difficult to play. Lunatics and madmen tend toward chaotic neutral behavior.”
NEUTRAL EVIL: “Neutral evil characters are primarily concerned with themselves and their own advancement. They have no particular objection to working with others or, for that matter, going it on their own. Their only interest is in getting ahead. If there is a quick and easy way to gain a profit, whether it be legal, questionable, or obviously illegal, they take advantage of it. Although neutral evil characters do not have the every man for himself attitude of chaotic characters, they have no qualms about betraying their friends and companions for personal gain. They typically base their allegiance on power and money, which makes them quite receptive to bribes. An unscrupulous mercenary, a common thief, and a double-crossing informer who betrays people to the authorities to protect and advance himself are typical examples of neutral evil characters.”
Current mood: nerdy
Current music: Tori Amos – Crucify

So I guess I should deal with the evil question. I think that I can be evil; do evil things. Not as easily has I used to, but I know that I could if I wanted to or needed too. But I don’t think that I’m really evil; probably more scared that evil. That’s not really an tiger trait; being afraid. But I am, of a lot of things.
But then, I think about things that I have done, and I have done some evil things; to other people and to myself…..
why is my roommate using my sink to brush his teeth in. He has his own bathroom….
Anyway….so the answer to the question is no. I am not evil. Crazy – probably. A bastard -most definitely. But not evil. Not completely. Maybe I should look at this from a D&D perspective:
“Evil is the antithesis of good and appears in many ways, some overt and others quite subtle. Only a few people of evil nature actively seek to cause harm or destruction. Most simply do not recognize what they do is destructive or disruptive. People or things that obstruct the evil character’s plans are mere hindrances that must be overcome. If someone is harmed in the process…well, that’s too bad. Remember that evil, like good, is interpreted differently in different societies.”
Well, I don’t think that I am the antithesis of good. Maybe the anti-book report maybe, but that’s pushing it. O.K. maybe I’m evil just for making such a bad joke. I do recognize my disruptive and distructive acts, I choose not to do anything about them though, since most are of the self-destructive and self-disruptive kind.. Sometimes, say during rush at the bookstore and there is a temp S/R peon in my way, perhaps I might get a little….pushy, arrogant, all high and might and have to smite the little cockroach out of my way. But come on, it’s rush. If they survive rush, most find out that I’m just a big softie. Probably way too much info, but I to tend to make sure no toes are steped on when I’m barreling through. But does it matter, since I live in a christian dominated society, I am evil and going to hell anyway.
Current mood: melancholy
Current music: Fiona Apple – Fast As You Can

Was reading someone else’s journal and they were talking about how they were reading Stephen King’s The Dark Tower Series. I haven’t read those in a long time. It was the only Stephen King novels that I liked. I remember it was my old best friend, Jesse Holm that got me into that series. **sigh** God, now I dredging up old high school memories. It did hit me hard losing my friendship with Jesse. I kinda see some of him in Peter, my coworker. I guess Jesse and I were an odd combination for friends, but I really loved and respected him a lot. But, as usual, I never saw the betrayal and Jesse became another addition to the list of people who I considered close friends that stabbed me in the back.
Do I just ask for it or what
Current mood: calm
Current music: Garth Brooks – The Dance

There is always so much that I want to say, then something grabs my attention and then I forget what I was going to do….
Anyway, I believe that is it Chinese New Years today; I thought that it was tomorrow. I should see when they are having the parade and go see it. That’ll be something cool to do before school starts…
**sigh** School. I went to price my books. OMG!!! 15 books at a total of $225 for ONE CLASS!!!! Why did I ever become a history major? I think that I will go to class first to see if I really need all of those books. If I do, then I am going to try to get into another class. I’ll have to dig out a schedule to see if there is another class I can take. This is going to totally fuck up my schedule.
Back to the Chinese New Year, according to the astrology book:
2001, The Snake Year – The Snake wishes you no ill but he cannot abide your hasty, rushing-river approach to life. It Makes him dizzy. You can expect a slowdown in almost all your activities, but don’t panic – better to take a few trips, see some new places and learn how to coast along without taking yourself too seriously. You are a speed demon living in the year of ponderous, philosophical Snake. Don’t expect much in the way of income, but love – oh gosh, yes. You’ll have oodles of love in the Snake year. Love is what the Snake is all about.
Hmmm. Does this mean that Serraphand I are getting back together? Does this mean that I am going to have fling after fling? Is it pointless for me to try to save money and I should just blow it on a big screen Sony Vega TV(or Wega, I’ve see both spellings. Maybe I should go to the Sony site to see how they spell it.) and a PS2.
Whatever. While Randy was typing his stuff up for ILM, I was reading a book called In the Heart of the Valley of Love by Cynthia Kadohata. For some reason, I thought about Kabuki and was imagining her has the lead character, Francie. Hmmm. This book is one of the books that I had to read for Cobene the Bastard. He was an English teacher that I fell in love with, but that turned to hatred. Let’s not even go down that path.
Anyway, the story is about this teenager growing up in semi-apocalyptic Los Angeles. There is not a straight plot line or anything. But the book itself is…I don’t know. It’s now exciting, but it’s not boring either. The book is about the characters and how they are surviving in the world. Although the setting is in the future, it’s only like 2050, and it seem even more real. I’m doing a bad job of describing the book, but it’s not a bad book to pick up.
Current mood: calm
Current music: Garth Brooks – To Make You Feel My Love

Well, after dinner and a shower, I’m ready for a nap. But I need to be at work on tine tommorow, so I think that I will stay up a bit.
Randy is comming over to retype his resume and cover letter. He has a lead for a job at….god I can’t remember, but it’s Lucas’s place. Skywalker Ranch and all. He has a computer, but he is too lazy to hook it up. Actually, both of them (Mike and Randy) had computers, but were always using mine to do stuff on. Maybe they are computer illiterate. Hmmm, I don’t think Randy is, it’s just that his computer is too old; it’s and Apple II something.
ANyway, I should go down to wait for him to let him in.
Current mood: calm
Current music: Cowboy Bebop Sdtk (-Music For Freelance) – Fataisie Sign

Diagnosis:
————————————————————————
I do not know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere around territory of modern Jugoslavia approximately on 1650.
Your profession was warrior, hunter, fisherman, executor of sacrifices.
————————————————————————
Your brief psychological profile in that past life:
You were sane practical person, materialist with no spiritual consciousness. Your simple wisdom helped weaker and poor.
————————————————————————
Lesson, that your last past life brought to present:
Your lesson — to conquer jealousy and anger in yourself and then in those, who will select you as their guide. You should understand that these weaknesses are caused by fear and self-regret.
————————————————————————
Now you remember?
Current mood: crazy
Current music: Semi-listening to Oprah and Dr. Phil on TV

Polieon
Profile
You live in the lakes of Korea, and your diet consists mostly of wolves, grass and coffee.
Characteristics
(Combat and Non-combat)
You have a magic chest of hats. You have a discoball. You can shoot lightning bolts. You can spit rocks. You can swim in maple syrup. You can spit cosmic energy bolts. You have uncanny instinct. You have mallets for hands. You can spit nunchucks. You can eat Mr. PiBB.
Natural Enemies
Your natural enemy is Moonerd.
Current mood: sad
Current music: Listening to 104.5 KFOG on the radio

Or a good reason to stay home. On the one hand it is cold today and I would like nothing better than to stay wrapped up in my mink blanket. But on the other hand, I have already called Peter and told him that I was driving in. Besides, I think that there are rats in my heater.
I am in such the depressed mood. Not the crying suicidal one, but the lethargic, want to stay in bed all day one. But if I can move around enough to type this, then I might as well get some clothes on and head to work.
Besides, The Price Is Right is on at 10 am, and I can’t miss Bob and his beauties.
Current mood: lethargic
Current music: Mice/Rats scurring in the heater ducts

You see yourself through tainted eyes, as do most of us. The difference is, I know that my perception of me in just that…my perception…not reality. You call yourself evil. You say you are this monster and you hate the monster. You hate what you think you are. But you are the only one who sees yourself this way. You are not a bad person. Confused – yes. Evil – no. How many wonderful, intelligent people have loved you? How many have been there through all the ups and downs? If you are evil, then we must all be pretty stupid to love you. And we do. I know I do. So if you are evil, and we are morons, why be our friends? Why love us…we are too dumb to see you are not worth your love…right?
Current mood: groggy
Current music: Counting Crows – High Life