Monthly Archives: May 2001

**sigh** I suppose that I shouldn’t laugh, but besides billiam, I just laugh so hard when I read their stuff. I shouldn’t laugh at those who are less fortunate than myself….
**points finger** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
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Back from Mother’s Day Brunch with Suzanne and her grandmother. We went to Applebee’s and I had a Mudslide milkshake, a Bacon Cheeseburger and some shrimp. It was an O. K. mean, but it seemed like there wasn’t as big of a selection than the other times that I’ve gone.
Afterwards, we went back to Suzanne’s where her and I took a nap for a couple of hours. I love napping with her, holding her and stuff. It’s when we have to sleep for more than 4hrs that there are problems…
I left around 9pm and caught the last bit of traffic heading into the city. But it wasn’t too bad, and I got to see my view of the city. I love entering the city, whether it’s from the Bay Bridge, the Golden Gate, or from the peninsula. I think that it’s the view that keeps me in the city.
Walking up to my apt., I saw my old roommate, Daniel and our friend Reina. It seems that Daniel’s roommate now is going through the same problem that I am going through with the mess up in financial aid and eviction. **sigh** Hopefully, I can get this taken care of tomorrow and it wont drag out.
Well, I am going to stay up late and start my paper. I’m hoping that I can spit out a page or two of BS before I go to sleep. I hope…
Current mood: gassy (phew!!!)
Current music: Vision Of Escaflowne: For Lovers Only Soundtrack

Rereading textbooks and forming my paper in my head, I come across the novel Vox by Nicholson Baker. Must resist the urge to get sucked into it. I think that I should let Suzanne read it. The weird part id that one of the review notes on the back cover compares it to Ravel’s Bolero. I have had Bolero in my head all day long for some reason.
Anyway, Matt and someone else are watching the game outside. I’m just not that big of a sports fan, and I’m def, not the jock that Matt is. **sigh** I come home to beer all over the place and the house kinda messy. I can’t really say anything cause I haven’t done anything to keep the house clean.
O. K. time to go and see Suzanne. Meeting her in Vallejo for Mother’s Day. Her and her mom passed their motorcycle test. Yay!!!!
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As a result of the Moon trining Saturn, your emotions might be a bit erratic today, and you may be feeling jumpy and skittish. It is best that you make the effort to put a limit on how far to let this energy take you. Keep your thoughts to yourself instead of processing them aloud for everyone else to hear. Keep a damper on things or else you are likely to put your foot in your mouth at the worst possible time. If you have any problems that you can’t resolve yourself, you should discuss it with an older person
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On my way home on BART from Suzanne’s. I’m in the car and this guy with a bike comes in and sits down at the other end of the car. After he sits, he notices me, and he is torn between staying and leaving. But the train starts and he decides to stay.
So we are going and we get to the Oakland stops and he keeps looking at me, like this is where I’m getting off at. At first I ignore him, but then I start staring back at him. I honestly think that he was afraid of me cause I was black. It was so funny, and I was trying to look hard and ghetto at him and he was nervous and shaking and kept on drinking out of his bike bottle. When we finally got to his stop in San Francisco, I thought he was going to fly out of the car.
I guess I should be offended, but if anyone has ever met me, I am so not “black” acting. I am the least black acting guy people know. I guess it was just funny that this stupid guy was afraid of me. Anyway, that’s my BART story for the week….
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Suzanne and Mrs. Larson came over around two-ish and we headed out to the Taco Bell on the Beach. In Pacifica, they have a Taco Bell right on the beach, complete with an outdoor window so surfers can order. I don’t know, maybe it’s cause it is next to the beach and the ocean, but the food here taste better than other Taco Bells.
So after lunch, we took a walk along the beach. It was a cool walk; we collected some cool looking rocks, played in the water (O. K. Actually, we played with the tides going father and father out with the tide and running back up to shore before we could get wet) and we chased some crabs around. But at certain points I became quiet and withdrawn, cause I was thinking about the eviction notice.
After a while, we started to head back to Antioch. I decided to make a detour and head to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Oh yeah baby!!! On the way there on the San Mateo Bridge, the back liner for a truck going the other way flew off and almost landed on us. It was pretty scary cause I didn’t realize what it was until it was coming down.
Well, we made it to KKD with no mishaps and we got some doughnuts and we also stopped in at Jamba Juice for some smoothies. **happy sigh** Hot glazed doughnuts…..mmmmmmmm. So good; just what I needed to cheer me up.
We headed back to Antioch where we just kinda chilled at Suzanne’s watching her mom play Diablo II and being sappy to each other. It was good times; with all the stuff going on with me, it was a needed break.
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Playing with the directory search on LJ while waiting for Suzanne and her mom to show up. Actually, I should head to the ATM to get some cash. Anyway, it’s amazing at the number of people who have journals and haven’t posted anything. Make me wonder just how many active LJ are their.
That and the fact that there are 4 people in North Korea that are using Live Journal. Heh! Or the 46 users that are at the Vatican.
O. K. let me go to the ATM and pray for cash…
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So I woke up and made the mistake of looking at the eviction notice and trying to figure out what happened. I have a couple of theories on what happen, but the overall fact is that on my original statement, they show that the rent was paid through May for my apartment. And no one let me know otherwise for this whole semester. I am not going to pay for a mistake on their part. **sigh** Well, I started getting all worked up again, and I almost called Suzanne to cancel for today. But instead, I went to the kitchen and had some Quakers Instant Oatmeal. Two packets of French Vanilla and one packet of Cinnamon and Spice. Yum, Yum, Yum!!! It was very calming and just what I needed. I still have the butterflies in my stomach, but I think I can operate normally.
Waiting for Suzanne to call. I hope she hasn’t been calling me on my home phone, cause the network is down (what’s new) and so I’m on Dial Up. I’m sure she’ll figure it out and call the cell. I think that I will take a shower and get ready anyway.
Current mood: aggravated
Current music: Listening to 95.7 on the radio

I think that the first major project when school is over is to transfer and condense all of my journal entries from my various journals into one journal. I also want to start work on a new web site. But I think that will wait until my new computer is done so that I can have access to a scanner and hard drive space.
side note….I had a thought a couple of days ago where I would go around and have people do photo shoots of me. Weird idea….
I also need to make some entries into memories. And I need to do this, and I need to do that. So much I think I need to do; we’ll see just how much will get done.
First things first, got to finish out this semester…
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Current music: Madonna – Papa Don’t Preach

Well, it seems that the majority of my depression/panic attack is over. Hopefully after some sleep tonight, I will be O.K. for tomorrow. We are taking Suzanne’s Mom to the Taco Bell on the Beach in Pacifica. KFOG is also having their Kaboom fireworks thing going on; maybe we’ll hang around for that also.
Well the whole deal with the eviction notice and my rent not being paid is a mistake on either Financial Aid part or the Bussar’s part. But it is not my fault, because on my original account statement, it shows my housing being paid through May. I guess the thing was with finals and papers being due and stuff going on at work, and my overall depression….well, I think that I did say that any little thing would set me off. **sigh**
I was going to just drink my ass off tonight and feel sorry for myself. I decided not too at the last minute. So tonight was a sober night; I guess it was a concession to Suzanne since I wasn’t talking to anyone. I did talk to her a little while ago; passed her motorcycle test. Yay for her!
I would be such the addict if I let myself. Peter offered to take me out to get drunk and to get high tonight. I almost took him up on that offer, but something held me back. I think I would have just lost it tonight if I had went out. I don’t know, sometimes you do need a good drink or a hit to steady everything out, esp. if the shit is hitting the fan. But for me, I know that I would go overboard, esp with drugs. So for the most part, I stay away from them.
There are other addictions I have to avoid too. Like eating and shopping. I did finish off some cookies and had some Ice cream. But there were only a couple of cookies and I didn’t have that much Ice Cream. Too bad I’m not the type to starve myself, so at least I could loose some pounds.
I don’t think that I’m ready to sort things out yet. I’m just glad that it seems to be over and I can go on. Monday, I will go to financial aid and try to get this straighten out. And I have all next week off to work on papers.
Current mood: calm
Current music: Madonna – Live To Tell