Well, it seems that the majority of my depression/panic attack is over. Hopefully after some sleep tonight, I will be O.K. for tomorrow. We are taking Suzanne’s Mom to the Taco Bell on the Beach in Pacifica. KFOG is also having their Kaboom fireworks thing going on; maybe we’ll hang around for that also.
Well the whole deal with the eviction notice and my rent not being paid is a mistake on either Financial Aid part or the Bussar’s part. But it is not my fault, because on my original account statement, it shows my housing being paid through May. I guess the thing was with finals and papers being due and stuff going on at work, and my overall depression….well, I think that I did say that any little thing would set me off. **sigh**
I was going to just drink my ass off tonight and feel sorry for myself. I decided not too at the last minute. So tonight was a sober night; I guess it was a concession to Suzanne since I wasn’t talking to anyone. I did talk to her a little while ago; passed her motorcycle test. Yay for her!
I would be such the addict if I let myself. Peter offered to take me out to get drunk and to get high tonight. I almost took him up on that offer, but something held me back. I think I would have just lost it tonight if I had went out. I don’t know, sometimes you do need a good drink or a hit to steady everything out, esp. if the shit is hitting the fan. But for me, I know that I would go overboard, esp with drugs. So for the most part, I stay away from them.
There are other addictions I have to avoid too. Like eating and shopping. I did finish off some cookies and had some Ice cream. But there were only a couple of cookies and I didn’t have that much Ice Cream. Too bad I’m not the type to starve myself, so at least I could loose some pounds.
I don’t think that I’m ready to sort things out yet. I’m just glad that it seems to be over and I can go on. Monday, I will go to financial aid and try to get this straighten out. And I have all next week off to work on papers.
Current mood: calm
Current music: Madonna – Live To Tell
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horangee
A 50-something pretending to live in California.
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