Daily Archives: July 18, 2000

That was basicly the weekend. I really got some insights from my friends and though about stuff that is going on in my life. I know the things that I have to do in my life; or I think I know some of them. The question is do I have the will to act and make these changes, regardless of the consiquences. For right now, I don’t. But I can feel the thunder build around me. How long can I play the silent bad guy? How many more blows can I take? I have danced the dance of love many times before with different partners. The last time I danced this close with someone, it was with the Lady In Eternal Disguise. It was one of the greatest dances in my life, but when I let my dance partner slip away from me, it costed me and my friends 3 years of my life. I paid dearly and although the wounds are healed and gone, I can still trace over where they were and feel the scar of them. I refuse to place my friends in that kind of position and I refuse to go through that kind of pain and to let it control my life again. I wasted so many years of my life rotting away. I will not let that happen to me again. I refuse to let it happen to me.
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So we all went to sleep around 4-5 in the morning. The next day, I woke up and went out with Michelle for some breakfast. She has a nice used 94 Civic. Went to Jack in the Box for breakfast. When we got back, Amber and David wanted all of us to go out for lunch. David mentioned Sunday Champange Brunch. Champange??? Where??? SO I go with them while Gabi stays with Lesa. While we are driving I call Mew and we decide to goto Mew’s to eat.
Mew lives on the other side of Sacramento in this townhouse that is very east coast looking. The outside is brick and the front of the houses face inward like on the east coast (It’s what I learned in an archetect class yeas ago). I totally love her house. For the same rent that Shawn and I are paying, she get an three room place with 1 1/2 bath. And it’s a very nice place. She is so lucky. Well Mew and I started to make pancakes, but I was still tired and was totally fucking up the batter. So David stepped in and cooked breakfast for all of us. BTW, boy looks pretty good with his shirt off (Thank Amber. hehe). So we started to watch Breakfast Club. Amber and David went up to the guest room to take a nap while Mew and I caught up on things. I think it’s ironic that out of all of us, she has the most stable relationship with Mike while the rest of us are on rollercoasters of various speed in our lives. But I’m glad that they are doing good. Mew asked me about moving in with her and I was tempted. But I really want to finish school first and the thing is that I really hate Sacramento. I don’t think that I could stand living their for long.
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