Just went and saw LOTR:TTT with my brother. Wasn’t sure if he would like it, but he loved it and now wants to see the first movie. It was a good movie and seemed to go quicker than the last movie. Still, there was something in the movie that bothered me. Unfortunately, I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe I’ll figure it out when the DVD comes out. 2 down and 1 to go.
Earlier today, Eric and I transfered pictures out of old photo albums into new ones. **sigh** There are so many pictures and memories in those albums. I think that the next time that I come up, I am going to bring my scanner with me and just spend the whole time scanning pictures. If I have room, I might take onw album home with me. We’ll see.
I think that I have decided not to goto Napa for new years. Some people will be pissed off at me, but I don’t think that I will be in a good mood or be able to fake it. And I don’t want to bring people down with me. I wish that I had a roof to go up on and watch the fireworks that they have at Lake Merced. Maybe, I’ll just drive down the coast and spend it out on a beach somewhere. It’s probably really dramatic sounding, but if I can’t be with Suzanne, then what is the point.
Part of me thinks that I should just pull away from my friends and the world; what I usually do every couple of years, it seems. I think it is the rain and cold talking and I hope the feelings will just disappear.
Anyway, the Xmas vacation has been fun and relaxing. I didn’t do anything really, but it’s always been about being around the family and the safety and security that I feel. As always, my thoughts turn to moving up here. Is there anything in CA that I can’t do here in WA? Well, be with Suzanne, for starters. I know that Suzanne is the main reason that I am still in the Bay Area; O.K. so the city has something to do with it too. But I can see myself moving to Seatle or Tacoma; it was a dream at one time to do such a thing. Still, it is hard to get up and move to a new place. And I still consider San Francisco my domain, even if I hole myself up in one little foggy corner of it.
**sigh** I wish I hadn’t deleted my Livejournal’s, so I can’t se what I wrote at this time a year ago. I guess I’ll have to wait until I get back. I don’t have too many New Years resolutions…let’s see:
The weight thing is going O.K. I glad I got it from almost 200 to the 180’s (179 on my parents scale, 189 on the work scale). I think that I want to get to 175, however I also need to get more specific on the diet and exercising. I need to start countig calories and focusing on building muscles and crunching my gut. Also need to be more strict with the diet/exercising. I have slacked off a bit; but with Mike going to the gym with me once again, that should help me out.
Def. need to wok on budgeting and saving money. Unfortunately not too many places to cut right now. The fact that I even thought about getting rid of the DSL shows the seriousness of the situation. Of course I’m not; however I might go down on the speed (from 768kbps-1.5Mbps to 384kbps-768kbps). That would save me $10, or I could go even lower. I doubt that will happen though; I love my fast speen too much. So it comes to not eating out and shopping frugally. Changing my rent in May will really help me out also, it’s just a matter of surviving until then. I’ll probably go looking for a second job and stick too it this time.
Still, there are some things that I want to get and things/places I want to goto. I really need a new larger hard drive for my computer, more than anything else. However, I have also been thinking about just getting a new computer. **sigh** Much more like wishful thinking. However, we’ll see how the year goes. If I’ve been good, then I just might treat myself.
I also want to goto a WWE wrestling event. Something always happens that keeps me from going to one. Actually, Wrestlemania is happening in Seattle this year; tickets go on sale in two weeks. Well, i’m not going to that, but I am determined to goto one this year.
Also determined to goto the Ren Faire this year. Regardless of what happens in my life, I am going to go. And this year, hopefully will be the year I get the cloak that I have denied myself for all of these years.
I’m sure that there are others, but blah, this is more like a Xmas list than anything else. I think what I really want is my life to get back on track. If I get back with Suzanne, I want to move forward and build or relationship so that it is ready for marriage. If we don’t get back together, I want to have the strength to move on with my life and to not let it fade away.
O.K. need to get off the computer. Will hopefully talk more later.
A 40-something rediscovering life in California