I really should call mom, but my thoughts, stubbornness, and fear once again gets in my way. I tell myself that there was a time when I wasn’t like this, but it’s hard to remember when. Like I’ve make this thought up and I’m gaslighting myself somehow. Hopefully I can get some answers today; though it will probably lead to more questions.
Luckily, I don’t have to pay mom’s cleaning fee for the old place, so my upcoming tax refund is safe. Wonder if I should use it all on the Apple Card, or wait for my bonus to pay the card off. Or just say fuck it to everything and start planning a trip to Singapore to see Eric and the fam.
Going back to mom, I could wait for Eric to come back out here. We definitely have to deal with the situation that we should have dealt with years ago.