Monthly Archives: June 2001

God, I wish I would have gotten either a Taichi or Yoga DVD instead of Tae-bo
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I have little to no energy within me.
I think that another wave of depression is trying to set in. I wish that it would wait until after this weekend. I would like to be in a good mood when I goto the parade.
I wish that the St. John’s Wort would work faster, if at all. I’ve never been too convinced that it ever worked the last couple of times that I have taken it. And Welltrubin (if I had insurance) always let me absent minded. I have never forgiven myself for misplacing a CD player at work. And it was cause of the Wellbutrin. What I need are some to pep me up.
What I need is something, someplace, or someone to fill the emptyness that is in my soul.
I want to be warm and covered; I want to stop feeling so cold and exposed.
I want to goto a nude beach and strip and let the sun and the sand warm my body and reenergize my soul.
I want to goto a rave and in that body of people dancing and within that mass I want to throw away my fears and let my body, mind, and soul be seduced and surrounded by the smells, the colors, the shapes, and the sounds of the rave.
What happen to the immortal that I once was? Hmph. I guess in high school, we are all gods and goddesses until we are kicked out of Olympus and fall to Earth.
Is that what I should be searching for; that spark of immortality? It was never the looks, the class one was in, how smart one was. Things like these can help and assist, but it was always about the spirit of immortality; that aura of confindence. With a strong spirit, one can be more beautiful that they really are. You can walk into any social class you want. You can allude an intelligence that you might not have.
**sigh** I am self centered.
I Guess Every Rose Has Its Thorn,
Just Like Every Night Has It’s Dawn,
Just Like Every Cowboy Sings A Sad Sad Song,
Every Rose Has Its Thorns…
God I am in trouble if 80’s Big Hair Rock Ballads are making me cry.
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Here is your analysis:
YOUR IDEAL MATE is gentle and sweet.
ABOUT YOUR WISH: You like changes. Going for a trip is challenging to you.
YOUR ATTITUDES TOWARDS SUCCESS: You don’t care about your success.
YOUR ATTITUDES TOWARDS SOCIETY: You love freedom and don’t want to get tied down.
ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY: You are too self-centered.
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And yes, I did vote for livejournal for the webby awards
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I hate taking St. John’s Wort. I have to take 2 pills 3 times a day. I guess it’s cause it’s so dry and I feel slighly naseus after I swallow them.
Did Tae-bo….Billy Banks sucks.
Trying to finish emails to people tonight. Just tired of relating my life to people. Read my journal, damnnit…
Someone called me on my cell, but didn’t leave a message…
Going to the Pride parade with some friends this weekend. Def. something that I couldn’t do if Suzanne was here. It ought to be fun checking everybody out and watching my friends in action.
Also need to goto Vacaville to see Barry/Gabi and their baby. Maybe I’ll stop by Mew’s to pick up my present. Wonder if April has my present too. Such a greedy bitch…
Lottery is at $120 million dollars. I’m sure Suzanne will understand if I buy some lottery tickets. Even if I only get the 5 numbers without the Mega Number, that’s still 1 million dollars. I could live with that…
Also need to ship the computer off, and pay for more phone time, and pay the cell bill, etc. etc. poop….
I wish that I would have kept at least one of the SmartCards for my digital camera instead of giving them all to Suzanne. I really want to take some pictures….
O.K. Back to emails. I’m making it sound like a chore, but it really isn’t
Current mood: content
Current music: Geese Ni Shouyu – Geese Howard’s Theme from Fatal Fury

Wondering if I should proposition someone to take some pictures for me. Hmmm. I’m sure that Suzanne would be upset. **sigh** besides, I have no capital to pay with anyway. I need to goto sleep.
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Me and Justin are outside watching South Park and we start to hear this noise coming from Matt’s room. Him and his girlfriend are getting it on big time and she is screaming and moaning. Actually, I can still faintly hear her when the songs ends; I have my headphones on and am listening to my CD’s.
The only other time that something like this has happened that I can remember is back when I worked at Baskin Robbins. We were having a BR party at the Motel 6 and I fell asleep in the alcohol room (we had two adjourning rooms, one was smoking and the other was alcohol) with Chris Romo and this other girl (I want to say her name was Amy, but I can’t remember). Anyway I was in one bed and Chris and Amy were in the other. About an hour into us sleeping I am woken up by Chris and Amy going at it in there bed. They are just loud as fuck. SO I try to sneak out, but some shit locked the door to the smoke room, so I snuck back into bed and listen to them fuck for an hour. Talk about something that fuckin sucks.
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At work cleaning some paperwork, trying to be busy. Since we are done counting, it will be a challenge to find stuff to do.
Also looking at NakedParts journal. Thank god they don’t keep track of the internet here at the warehouse or I would probably get talked too.
Either about that or the fact that I took the guys to Denny’s today for breakfast. But they really deserve it; ok, peter’s a question mark. But The inventory is done two weeks in advance.
I need to goto sleep earlier. **yawn**. maybe when the guys get back, I will take a nap
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Journal entries are way down compared to last month. Oh well
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Pretty blah day right now. Looking over at the weather for Vacaville and Tracy; Hot. 😛 Just have to remember to dress light.
Peter is also slowly pissing me off. After the whole, “I’m going to change” speach, still no change. I think that I will talk to Amber about Mark from supplies starting here after inventory and see if I can move Peter to supplies, if only for a little while to show him how cushy he has it here.
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