I have little to no energy within me.
I think that another wave of depression is trying to set in. I wish that it would wait until after this weekend. I would like to be in a good mood when I goto the parade.
I wish that the St. John’s Wort would work faster, if at all. I’ve never been too convinced that it ever worked the last couple of times that I have taken it. And Welltrubin (if I had insurance) always let me absent minded. I have never forgiven myself for misplacing a CD player at work. And it was cause of the Wellbutrin. What I need are some to pep me up.
What I need is something, someplace, or someone to fill the emptyness that is in my soul.
I want to be warm and covered; I want to stop feeling so cold and exposed.
I want to goto a nude beach and strip and let the sun and the sand warm my body and reenergize my soul.
I want to goto a rave and in that body of people dancing and within that mass I want to throw away my fears and let my body, mind, and soul be seduced and surrounded by the smells, the colors, the shapes, and the sounds of the rave.
What happen to the immortal that I once was? Hmph. I guess in high school, we are all gods and goddesses until we are kicked out of Olympus and fall to Earth.
Is that what I should be searching for; that spark of immortality? It was never the looks, the class one was in, how smart one was. Things like these can help and assist, but it was always about the spirit of immortality; that aura of confindence. With a strong spirit, one can be more beautiful that they really are. You can walk into any social class you want. You can allude an intelligence that you might not have.
**sigh** I am self centered.
I Guess Every Rose Has Its Thorn,
Just Like Every Night Has It’s Dawn,
Just Like Every Cowboy Sings A Sad Sad Song,
Every Rose Has Its Thorns…
God I am in trouble if 80’s Big Hair Rock Ballads are making me cry.
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horangee
A 50-something pretending to live in California.
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