I found this from an old English class and it sums up why I love to go to raves…
The door to my personal freedom was introduced to me in July of 1993. It was then that I experienced my first rave party. It was the beginning of a quest, a quest in which I had no idea what I would accomplish but I knew there was something to be found.
I remember walking down a strange alley to get to the location of the party. The party was behind a door that seemed to have just appeared out of nowhere. This entrance brought a whole new world. It wasn’t just a party, there was so much more to it. I escaped from my friends, who for some reason made me feel limited, and I began exploring. I became an observer, listening to people, watching the activities that went on. I wanted to understand this culture, I wanted to be part of it.
For the next few months I talked various friends into going to these parties for I lacked transportation. Each party brought me a little deeper into my quest. With each party came many realizations but it still wasn’t clear. They were just a bunch of random thoughts not unified by anything in particular.
Then one night I made a huge advancement, it was my first step to freedom. I realized that I was beginning to find myself. This was something that I was unable to do in all previous environments I had experienced. Until then I had been blocked by barriers within myself caused by the idea that I had to be a certain way to fit into society. In this scene I could be myself and be accepted no matter what. When you can be yourself you can begin to get to know yourself.
I continued to venture these parties. I was trying to understand this way of life. It’s not just an activity but a way of life. I became more and more into parties until it became my way of life.
Eventually the night came that made everything clear. I was at a very special party, the type of party that brings out the most amazing people and also brings out the best of people. It was a beautiful night, there was something very serene about this night. The energy among the people was entirely positive, I don’t remember one person without a smile. Everyone was full of life and there was a sparkle in every happy eye. I was surrounded by so many beautiful beings. At one point in the night I was sitting in a circle with about nine people who brought me much joy. There was presents being shared; blankets, lollipops, juice, and happiness. At that moment greed did not exist, no evil existed. No one lacked anything because others were ignoring the fact that they wanted more and they were making sacrifices for each other. Everyone was equal, everyone was accepted. All of these thoughts hit me at once and my body became overwhelmed with emotion. I was experiences complete bliss. I was free from all negativity, greed, and hate. This was a place of love, sharing, acceptance, and unity. This is what I had searched for in all those parties, I had been on a quest for bliss. After all the other parties I was always left unsatisfied but for the first time this night I was completely fulfilled.
I now realize that this was just one step into a never ending journey. I have occasionally re-lived these emotions at parties while on the dance floor. Dancing, moving freely, being whoever I want to be, and being surrounded by hundreds of others doing the same gives me this same feeling of liberty. Every experience like this is preparing me for the next segment of my bliss seeking journey and search for myself.
Current mood: contemplative
Current music: Watching Sumo Wrestling on ESPN2
A 40-something rediscovering life in California