I guess I should be

I guess I should be thankful that she wasn’t cheating on me, like April was. Granted, our relationship was in it’s anticlamatic finish even has it begun. I don’t know if I could be friends with Suzanne if she did that. With April, it took years before I reconsile the hurt in my heart. And it took even longer before we could be friends again. We are not the close friends that we used to be, but I am happy where out friendship is at. My friends have never understood how I could be friends with her. Sometimes I wonder that myself. All I can say is that our friendship was always stronger than our relationship. With Suzanne, however, I opened up and changed myself for her. I guess that why I lost it and withdrew into my room this weekend, cause it hurts to know that she has moved on already. After all we’ve been through, I’m just that guy she dated who lived in San Francisco.
**sigh** I can hear my friends in my mind that I shouldn’t dwell on it and that I should move on. I should find something to take my mind off so that Mike won’t ask me why does it look like I’m crying.
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