Monthly Archives: November 2007

I should be getting ready for my trip to Washington state, but my room is still messy, I haven’t packed and I didn’t get chains for my car.

The roommate are conversing outside.  **sigh** No matter what I do, I will never have a bond like they have.  They have been roommates for 5-6 years after all.  It’s a little lonesome, but it is the prison that I built for myself, after all.  like the fortune teller said, the door is open, all I have to do is to walk out the cage.  And yet, I just sit here, in the prison of my mind.  I am such a good warden to myself.  I’ve unlocked a few of my self-inflicted chains, but there are so many more that I need to unlock.

The weather report looks good; no sign of snow on the roads.  I probably should have gotten an oil change and a check-up.  However, tech. I’m still 3000 miles away from the first one, so maybe I can get away with it.  Will def. have to get one after I get back.

It will be good to be with the family again, to recharge my heart and soul.  I have this binder of work that I am/was planning on bringing up with me.  But I think that I want to leave it behind.  After the trip to SoCal and the upcoming work parties that I’m starting to dread, I think that I want a week of just not thinking about work.

Today I was standing over a chasm, looking down into the depths, when someone on the other side threw a rope over to me.  I looked at it, and instead of letting it slide into the chasm like I usually do, I gathered my courage and picked up the rope.  I looked to the other side and saw my friend, Mew.  It has been so long and it was a much needed call for the both of us.

Bridges burnt can be rebuilt.

Thank you Mew, thank you for believing in me; for not giving up on me. 

Don’t know how this mood came over me; probably with the fog that rolled in this afternoon.

I really want some alcohol, but I’ve also had enough of alcohol and drunk people for awhile.  The last thing I need is to try and babysit my drunk self.  So I am eating and fatting myself up again.  I’m already halfway up to my old top weight.  So much for the diet.

Why do I have this feeling that you are sad and need a hug?  Or is it just me that is sad and wants a hug from you?