So I’m sitting here, home alone, with the sound of my computer fan spinning at a madding pace trying to keep everything cool, with tears running down my face.
Mike came back to ask me if I had changed my mind. I said no and let him borrow the tiger’s mask for his friend, Bora.
I am totally hating myself right now. I am hating the situation that I am in.
For the amount that I’m paying for rent, I could get my own 1br apartment. Part of the reason why I moved in with Mike at the price I did was because I didn’t think that the rental market would fall so quickly. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still expensive to live here. But I’ve watched the starting prices fall almost $300 in the 6 months that I have been here. But another reason that I moved here was for Suzanne, cause she didn’t feel comfortable at Onondaga. I didn’t feel comfortable their either sometimes.
I need to get over her. I gave up so much for her, and now I have nothing left. I need to rebuild so badly. Things would be easier if I had the sanctuary of my family close by. But I don’t. I have nothing. I have my friends, but even with all of the technology today, they are so far away.
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horangee
A 50-something pretending to live in California.
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- James A. Johnston - If You Smell
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