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Not working

Been listening to positive affirmations at night when I sleep, trying to change my thoughts. Not working though. According to an article I read, the affirmations have to be believable in order to work. I literally spend the first 15 minutes just repeating the opposite in my head. With Kaiser mental services going on strike again, not that they could help since they have done all they can do, not sure what’s next. Still not sure about buying Ketamine off the internet and self medicating. Don’t think hypnotherapy is covered by my insurance. I think I saved a link for a TMS headgear that i could buy. Not sure if that really helped or was it just the hour away from work. Or is it just time to start truly give up.

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#rarediseaseday

#rarediseaseday

#rarediseaseday

#rarediseaseday

Quote

Kena: Scars of Kosmora

Fear will bind you, gripping to the present which must always pass.

Regret will bind you, longing for the past you cannot change.

Love will bind you, yearning of a future you will not see.

Unbound, may you depart in peace.

Time to numb the pain

Positive Affirmations

**sigh**. Once again going to have Jason Stephenson gaslight me while sleeping in order to try to get rid of the negative and suicidal thoughts.

Since I’m on a roll with the self diagnosis tonight…

www.self.com/story/what-is-toxic-independence

••sigh•• To be fair and balanced, this is really the problem I have and solution that I refuse to do.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/jan/19/the-one-change-that-worked-hobbies-friendship-escape-book-clubs-chess