Category Archives: Uncategorized

…in bed

Miss you dad

Thought that I would be able to get through the day without having to take it off. But I’m struggling. Taking a break and walking around the neighborhood. So many things going on in my life and I feel like I’m failing all of them. Five years later and still not talking to mom. Not completely unexpected since we both can be stubborn. But to be honest, I thought that I would have caved in by now.

Just tired; of everything, everyone, and especially myself. I wish you were still here. I miss seeing you and talking to you and you just made everything better and made me feel better.

**wiping tears from eyes**. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea before a work meeting

What’s your favorite time of day?

Night time is still my favorite time of day. What else could explain the fact that I don’t start to do anything like cleaning my house until 11:30pm-12am. **sigh**. Maybe I should have tried saving for a house. That way I wouldn’t be worried about waking up my neighbors below I could vacuum and play music without waking anyone.

The victories, not matter what

Finally cleaned the living room,,put the dishes away, took out the trash, cleaned the toilet, and folded and put away some of my clothes, Apparently, the clean clothes pile has been building up since Pride. Which is truly amazing and sad at the same time. But I did dig out my Apple Watch and knife out. Trying not to dwell on the negatives and focus on the positives. Trying is the word…

Visiting

Can’t believe how this kid has grown.
Father and son

Some closure maybe…

I read this article on the Sherrif’s department and how understaffed they are. And I don’t know, something clicked in my head with the article and thinking about Teresa. Like I knew that the Sherrif department was understaffed and Teresa works alit of overtime. But I don’t think I really put it all together under I read this article (it was at 4m in the morning and of course I didn’t save it).

This is an answer that I can accept composited to the other scenarios that I’ve envisioned in my head over the last few years to try to explain what happened and why we don’t talk anymore.

I mean, one of those scenarios could actually be the correct reason of what happened. But with this theory from the article, I feel a peace; like the voices aren’t obsessing and trying to analyze what happened. I guess I’m ready to move on. Not to goto a bar or sign up on a dating site. But to leave the what could have been and the what should have been behind.

Still, it doesn’t erase the fact that I miss my friend.

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Work break

One of the reason that I do like coming to the South San Francisco site.
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Cat Video Fest 2023

Cat Video Fest 2023
Video

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Been thinking about this song a lot lately.

Old Man Positivity

OK, I shouldn’t be all doom and gloom. Went out to dinner with Barry and Kurt. Good times was had by all, including the mosquitoes that enjoyed biting my legs apparently, even with jeans on.