Monthly Archives: March 2005

Going to get my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow. I am all set for a liquid diet and lots of vicadin. Total cost after insurance $900+ including X-rays that I might have to take over again since the first set was messed up somehow.
Oh yeah, I finally went to the dentist. It took excruciating pain at work one day to get me to go. Besides the wisdom teeth, I got three cavities to get repaired. Not bad for not going to the dentist in ages…
Still haven’t done my taxes, since I’m ONLY getting back $60 from the feds. I probably owe the state $40. 😛 Still, I should get the paperwork done and sent off before the 15th.
On another anti-depressant. Yay me. We’ll see if this one will help me or not.
Have been spending most of my waking life playing World Of Warcraft. (Tygreyes on Bloodhoof server). It is so addicting, but it is also so good. Even now, I want to just delete this post and log on to the servers and finish just one more quest. Mmm, Mmm, MMO goodness.
Been watching the Final 64 basketball tournament since I am in charge of the work pool. I was doing good in the pool, but all of these upsets have just killed me. At this point, I need North Carolia to lose, and I would need Illinois to win and also have the correct score to win the tie-breaker. Up for grabs, $170 dollars.
When I am not playing World of Warcraft (servers come down at least once a week; but it is still a great game) I’ve been reading. Jenna Jameson’s autobiography is great, and not just because it has a few naked pictures of her. Her story is a facinating read. Unfortunately, I didn’t finish reading it and had to turn it back in since someone else had a hold on it. 🙁
Once the teeth are taken care of, the next big thing that I will be focusing on is moving out of here. I’ve been looking at Craigslist, but haven’t called on anything. Still trying to where I want to move to in the Bay Area. Have decided that I will look for a roommate instead of finding a place of my own. I could get a place on my own, but then I would be in a situation like I was with Mike at Park Merced, where after all the bills are paid, I wouldn’t have any money left to do anything. Not that I do anything now. But the extra money has gone to paying my bills down.
Speaking of, my small Perkins Financial Aide Loan is almost paid off. YAY!!!!
Yes, that is a mousepad with boobs on the phone cam. My friends thought it has been too long since I have been with a girl, and out of the kindness of my heart, they got me this. It’s taken some time to get use to having my hands or wrist on or inbetween breasts, but I think I am finally getting the hang of it.
I did have an…interaction with Suzanne this month. I was hoping that something could have come out of it but all it ended up was me leaving messages on her phone and her sending me an email. I was hoping for…a rebulding of a friendship? A civil conversatiion? a quick chat? I don’t know, just something. I know that the bridge has been burned, however a bridge can always be rebuilt again. It just takes a person on each side of the gap in order to start the rebuilding.
Anyway, that is pretty much what is going on. If I survive my operation tomorrow, then I plan on working on the website and taking a breeak from World of Warcraft. I’m also doing the 10,000 steps program in order to get some exercise and to hopefully help with my depression. **sigh** I hope everything goes smoothly with the wisdom teeth.

Yay, even more steps short

Still 2000 steps short…

:: how jedi are you? ::

From a dream I never wanted to end to a nightmare that I can’t wake up from.
How arrogant of me to compare myself to Terri Schiavo…
But I think I would rather have the feeding tubes pull out of me
Than to live this brain dead existance that I am living now.

Just to preface this by saying that in no way am I saying that I am a nice guy or anything. While I do have nice guy characteristics and qualities, I am probably more of an arrogant bastard. To be honest I am more of a…well, I’m sure there are alot of things that I could call myself. Anyway, I just liked it and wanted to repost it…
Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003