Fall To Pieces…Velvet Revolver

I really don’t think that my resolutions are changed from last year. Loose weight, goto a wrestling show, etc. etc. I think the biggest difference is that learning to love myself is going to be #1. Along with this is continuing to take control of my depression; going to therapy and taking my pills. To be honest, nothing has worked so far. O.k., that’s not entirely true. I am just back to the state I was before I started crashing back in Dec of last year.
It is a scary thing to be able to see youself fall apart or having a manic episode. It’s a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness. I’m suppose to think positivily about this and the most positive thing that I can say is that I didn’t go through with any of the suicidal thoughts that I’ve had this year or harm myself physically. The drugs and individual therapy did help a bit. The group therapy was a waste of time, however. But like I said, nothing has really changed. I still feel that this is something that I have to deal with myself. I realize that I have the love and support of my friends, and I am truly thankful for that. However, I cannot count on there support. They have their own issues and problems to deal with. They have families, morgages, and other things that are more important than to babysit and emotional basket case. I wish that I had someone who could give me the support that I need. I wish that I could find the answers that I am looking for. Or even the questions. However, the psychaitrist don’t have the answer, my family doesn’t have them, my friends doesn’t have them, God doesn’t have them. Doesn’t have them, or is it that I can’t see the answer or understand the answer given to me.

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