Lots of drumsticks eaten this thanksgiving. Yep, I polished off a whole box of ice cream drumsticks. But to look at the positive side of things, I did drink some water.
Was going to spend the day fasting and in deep thought. Maybe get to some things that I have been putting off. Instead, I watched TV, played some games, and slept. I’ve been told that depression is just the effect of you being angry with yourself. But, in the end, it just felt easier to numb my brain instead of trying to analyze what is wrong with me. And it’s sad because nobody has the answers for me, not my friends, not god, not my shrink, and def. not me. I not sure I even know what the questions are. **sigh** Still, I have 6-7 months left to try and figure something out.
Anyway, I am going to goto sleep early because I plan on waking up early to goto some Black Friday sales. I wish that I had applied for a new credit card earlier so I could have it now. Want to goto Best Buy and apply for a card and maybe get a laptop or a new LCD monitor. You know, all the stuff that I don’t need. Or maybe Macy*s? I should have applied for a card when I was there with Amanda. I could buy myself a new wardrobe. At least buy that really nice shirt that was on the sales rack for the wedding on Sat. And I think I’m actually in good standing with Macy*s (i.e. they never had to send the creditors after me). What will probably happen is that I will do all my Xmas shopping at JCPennys and charge it on that card. Even though nobody in my family wants anything. In all likelyhood, I’ll buy tons of stuff and then return it the
next day Sunday. I’m just being compulsive to fill the pain. First food, then shopping, then alcohol, drugs, and sex. I should try to goto sleep, I have a busy day tomorrow
A 40-something rediscovering life in California