Monthly Archives: July 2004

I finished Halo tonight, although a game isn’t truely won until you can beat it on a harder setting. So after a break, I’ll play through it again. I was pretty happy with it except that I couldn’t find two of the weapons that were suppose to be in the game, which was disappointing. I’m also curious about the image quality settings on the game. I wonder if they are at the highest setting that my video card can handle. At least my card can handle it, the old computer would be smoking trying to run this game.
Work was satifying today. I think that I have figured out a problem invoice that has been haunting me for the last couple of months. Also, I might be able to save some money on the merchandise bags that I’ve ordered, if the sales rep ever calls me back.
Unfornately, I can’t fix the problems at home, like Barbara’s computer. I messed around with it today, but couldn’t fix it. It’s so frustrating too. I still think that a format and reinstall of her computer would solve everything. It would clear all of the junk that she has collected on her computer.
My cold is still lingering. Everyone at work says that I sound bad. I don’t feel bad, but I am still coughing. And actually, I almost feel that there is water or liquid in my lungs or something. Well, I’ll continue to take the cough medicine for the rest of the week and see what happens.

I remember my old roommate, Mike, telling all about hot milk and how it helps you goto sleep; like the scientific reason and stuff.
Mark had the suggestion of jacking off twice; peel one out as quickly as you can, and then immediately go at it again. Then when you’ve cleaned up and done, you should fall right asleep.
And then someone else suggested watching FOX news…
April used to fall asleep watching a DVD; The Hunt For Red October I think.
The Psychiatrist did offer to prescribe me some sleeping pills. I wonder if I should have taken her up on the offer?

Gawd, tomorrow is going to be horrible for me, with the lack of sleep I will be getting.
Thought of the moment (inspired by a couple of journals and a web comic that I’m reading) is “What is keeping me in SF/Bay Area?” It’s a question that’s been asked of me and one that I have asked myself a number of times. I think right now, the ghost of Suzanne is the main reason that I am here; the dream/hope/delusion that something will happen between us. Excluding that, I’m not sure that I have a good reason for staying. I mean the weather’s nice here and S.F. is a wonderful city. But there are other cities out there in the world. All I’m doing here is hiding, and I could do that in any other city just as well, even better probably. I mean, if I moved, I would know absolutely no one. And isn’t that what I want? Isn’t it?

Another night of deep sleep. Pretty amazing, although I have no idea how I got turned around and at the other end of my bed. Sometimes, I think I should tape myself sleeping with my webcam just to see what I do at night. Maybe if I had a night vision camera…
Anyway, work was tiring and cold today. It just kinda dragged for everybody. Add in an anxiety attack over nothing, and it was a great day /sarcasm.
Came home, cooked dinner, and then just crashed for 3 hours. Now I’m wondering if I’ll be able to get back to sleep or will I be up all night.

No new or interesting dreams last night…well, there was one with Barbara in it, but I really don’t remember it. The only thing that I do remember is the deep sleep that I got. I mean I just went out; I don’t remember any tossing or turning, no kicking off sheets or covering myself with blankets, no heart problems, nothing at all. Just sleep until the next morning. Such a rare and wonderful thing. Two nights in a row would be great, but I’m not expecting it.
Went through the photo books today. Like my life, the books are an unorganized collections of thoughts and memories. Lots of sad memories; lots of longing for events in the past. But also some good memories. Of summer nights driving around town, stealing road construction cones and driving around TP’ing your co-workers houses…I mean wrapping their car, and then putting the cones at the corners, and then wrapping TP around the cones around the car…Ah, youthful summer memories…

Today was a pretty sickness-free day. No headaches, body aches, dizzy spells or anything. My cold seems to be almost gone. It’s at the point where I am not coughing or blowing my nose every five minutes. Spent the day alternating between reading and playing Halo.
Had some weird dreams last night. The first part was me and my dad were at a church on a Sunday, and basicly, my dad was questioning his faith in God in church. The rest of the congregation was really getting on his case, when I jumped in and defended my dad’s faith in God, even though I didn’t believe. Then Suzanne woke me up and told me to stop snoring. Next thing I know it is inventory and I am at the store counting stuff. I go outside the store where they are counting stuff and I see Lesa talking to Amber and Monica. Lesa is wearing a traditional Korean outfit and her hair is really long. I go up to her and introduce here to Amber and Monica and then lead her away, which pisses of Amber for some reason. But I don’t care becasue I haven’t seen Lesa in a long time. We start talking and catching up on things and she tells me that her and Kurt are having problems. She says that her and everybody misses me and asks if I am ready to come back. I hold up my wrists, which are shackled and say “I’m sorry, not yet.”
There was more stuff in the dream, but this is all that I remember. Interestig stuff

Today’s sickness for me was headaches. Not migraines or anything, just a low level headache that lasted all day. At least my cold is getting better.

Ever since this afternoon, I have been feeling just tired and lethargic. I came home and slept for a few hours; much longer than the nap that I usually take. And now that I am up, I think that I am ready to go back to sleep. I have no ideal if this is from the Prozac, my cold, the vaccination that I got, or something completely else. Well, it’s probably too early to start worrying about it.

Feeling tired for the last hour or so. I thought it might be because I was hungry, so I am eating my lunch (Tuna Casserole and Sunny D). Doesn’t seem to be helping so far. Took Prozac and Robitussin-CF this morning. Will take another dose of Roitussin in an hour.