Monthly Archives: February 2004

Tired

uh..hello
I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve posted something meaningful here.
With the exception of a 3 week addiction to Zuma and popcap.com games, I’ve mostly have been fighting it out with myself.
You can only fight yourself so long before you and yourself agree that to take a short breather to catch your breath.
I’m just exhausted physically, mentally, and spiritually. But my wrists are still uncut, I haven’t been locked up in a hospital, and I still am able to will myself out of bed every day.
My friends have offered their help, and I thank then and appreciate their offers. However, I know that they can’t help me.
I have given up my search for God for the moment. It’s not so much a search for God, cause I know that God is there. It’s just the fine print that I am having trouble with. Does it even matter if I agree or disagree with God as long has I believe in him.
Anyway, God is there and will reach him hand out to you if you are drowning. But the thing is, he doesn’t pull you up, that is still your job. But what if you are too tired to pull yourself up. If God isn’t going to pull you up, you are just left still swimming in the waters, holding on until you are exhausted from treading water and you let go.
Anyway, I’m still not ready to come out of my shell. I’m just taking a break before I start to battle myself again. What it eventually comes down to is that I will either defeat my demons or they will defeat me.
And yet, with all the stuff that I am feeling right now, there is this sense of loss that is hovering over me. Like someone close to me has died or loss someone; or someone close to them has died. It’s like I can feel some of their pain, but I can’t pinpoint it or anything. Yeah, yeah, it’s just probably VD Day depression, the weather or gas that I feeling. But if I could comfort and console this person, or just give them a nice hug, I would.

My cell phone

here is the obligatory pic of me and my phone. I don’t think that I have ever shown it off before. I just put my new black faceplate on, which I paid entirely too much for. But it was a hell of alot cheaper than what they were selling it for at the AT&T store. What I really want to do is get it engraved by this guy in Japantown. I should have taken some pictures of him and his engravings. However, they didn’t have any silver or chrome faceplates for my phone. I suppose that I could find one on EBay or something.

X-posted to my moblog

Top 250 movies as voted by our users (IMDB.com)

 

 

 

 

 

Movies I have seen in Bold. I only highlighted the movies that I have seen completely from begining to end.

1 Godfather, The (1972) 9.0/10 (88320 votes)
2 Shawshank Redemption, The (1994) 8.9/10 (110165 votes)
3 Godfather: Part II, The (1974) 8.8/10 (51751 votes)
4 Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) 8.8/10 (49475 votes)
5 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) 8.8/10 (74781 votes)
6 Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) 8.7/10 (118490 votes)
7 Casablanca (1942) 8.7/10 (51153 votes)
8 Schindler’s List (1993) 8.7/10 (75101 votes)
9 Shichinin no samurai (1954) 8.7/10 (21643 votes)
10 Star Wars (1977) 8.7/10 (107201 votes)

11 Citizen Kane (1941) 8.7/10 (47698 votes)
12 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975) 8.6/10 (53541 votes)
13 Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) 8.6/10 (48416 votes)
14 Rear Window (1954) 8.6/10 (31178 votes)
15 Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) 8.6/10 (82544 votes)
16 Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) 8.6/10 (73574 votes)
17 Usual Suspects, The (1995) 8.6/10 (80786 votes)
18 Memento (2000) 8.6/10 (65560 votes)
19 Pulp Fiction (1994) 8.6/10 (97618 votes)
20 North by Northwest (1959) 8.5/10 (27782 votes)
21 12 Angry Men (1957) 8.5/10 (21330 votes)
22 Fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain, Le (2001) 8.5/10 (41179 votes)
23 Psycho (1960) 8.5/10 (42378 votes)
24 Lawrence of Arabia (1962) 8.5/10 (24009 votes)
25 Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il [The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly](1966) 8.5/10 (19179 votes)
26 Silence of the Lambs, The (1991) 8.5/10 (72345 votes)
27 It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) 8.5/10 (32620 votes)
28 Goodfellas (1990) 8.5/10 (50701 votes)
29 American Beauty (1999) 8.4/10 (85545 votes)
30 Sunset Blvd. (1950) 8.4/10 (11745 votes)
31 Vertigo (1958) 8.4/10 (26350 votes)
32 Matrix, The (1999) 8.4/10 (111407 votes)
33 Apocalypse Now (1979) 8.4/10 (49043 votes)

34 Pianist, The (2002) 8.4/10 (17137 votes)
35 To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) 8.4/10 (22959 votes)
36 C’era una volta il West (1968) 8.3/10 (10303 votes)
37 Third Man, The (1949) 8.3/10 (14082 votes)
38 Some Like It Hot (1959) 8.3/10 (19171 votes)
39 Paths of Glory (1957) 8.3/10 (10555 votes)
40 Taxi Driver (1976) 8.3/10 (35430 votes)
41 Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001) 8.3/10 (13205 votes)
42 Fight Club (1999) 8.3/10 (80359 votes)
43 Boot, Das (1981) 8.3/10 (22153 votes)
44 Double Indemnity (1944) 8.3/10 (8857 votes)
45 L.A. Confidential (1997) 8.3/10 (55554 votes)
46 Cidade de Deus (2002) 8.3/10 (8888 votes)
47 Chinatown (1974) 8.3/10 (19416 votes)
48 Singin’ in the Rain (1952) 8.3/10 (15720 votes)
49 M (1931) 8.3/10 (8794 votes)
50 Maltese Falcon, The (1941) 8.3/10 (15347 votes)
51 Requiem for a Dream (2000) 8.3/10 (31257 votes)
52 Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957) 8.3/10 (17399 votes)
53 All About Eve (1950) 8.3/10 (10062 votes)
54 Se7en (1995) 8.3/10 (65960 votes)
55 Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) 8.3/10 (46257 votes)
56 Saving Private Ryan (1998) 8.2/10 (78289 votes)
57 Raging Bull (1980) 8.2/10 (19583 votes)
58 Rashômon (1950) 8.2/10 (8134 votes)
59 Wizard of Oz, The (1939) 8.2/10 (29929 votes)
60 Alien (1979) 8.2/10 (48385 votes)
61 Sting, The (1973) 8.2/10 (18301 votes)
62 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) 8.2/10 (8883 votes)
63 American History X (1998) 8.2/10 (42234 votes)
64 Vita è bella, La [Life Is Beautiful](1997) 8.2/10 (29556 votes)
65 Léon (1994) 8.2/10 (37363 votes)
66 Manchurian Candidate, The (1962) 8.2/10 (10054 votes)
67 Touch of Evil (1958) 8.2/10 (9115 votes)
68 Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948) 8.2/10 (7905 votes)
69 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 8.2/10 (51829 votes)
70 Great Escape, The (1963) 8.2/10 (14817 votes)
71 Reservoir Dogs (1992) 8.2/10 (50071 votes)

72 Clockwork Orange, A (1971) 8.2/10 (49712 votes)
73 Wo hu cang long (2000) 8.2/10 (41456 votes)
74 Modern Times (1936) 8.2/10 (7419 votes)
75 Amadeus (1984) 8.2/10 (28881 votes)
76 Ran (1985) 8.2/10 (8641 votes)
77 On the Waterfront (1954) 8.2/10 (9216 votes)
78 Annie Hall (1977) 8.2/10 (16065 votes)
79 Jaws (1975) 8.2/10 (36195 votes)
80 Braveheart (1995) 8.1/10 (71981 votes)

81 High Noon (1952) 8.1/10 (9305 votes)
82 Apartment, The (1960) 8.1/10 (8334 votes)
83 Fargo (1996) 8.1/10 (51878 votes)
84 Aliens (1986) 8.1/10 (50241 votes)
85 Strangers on a Train (1951) 8.1/10 (7758 votes)
86 Sixth Sense, The (1999) 8.1/10 (74816 votes)
87 Shining, The (1980) 8.1/10 (37701 votes)
88 Blade Runner (1982) 8.1/10 (60370 votes)
89 Finding Nemo (2003) 8.1/10 (21303 votes)
90 Metropolis (1927) 8.1/10 (8740 votes)
91 Duck Soup (1933) 8.1/10 (7531 votes)
92 Donnie Darko (2001) 8.1/10 (26586 votes)
93 General, The (1927) 8.1/10 (5007 votes)
94 City Lights (1931) 8.1/10 (5659 votes)
95 Princess Bride, The (1987) 8.1/10 (42962 votes)
96 Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) 8.1/10 (26644 votes)
97 Great Dictator, The (1940) 8.1/10 (7275 votes)
98 Toy Story 2 (1999) 8.1/10 (30945 votes)
99 Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957) 8.1/10 (6691 votes)
100 Notorious (1946) 8.1/10 (7876 votes)

Top 101 – 250
Rank Title
101 Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1989) 8.1/10 (10574 votes)
102 Lola rennt (1998) 8.0/10 (24622 votes)
103 Full Metal Jacket (1987) 8.0/10 (35608 votes)
104 Rebecca (1940) 8.0/10 (8522 votes)
105 Mononoke-hime (1997) 8.0/10 (13317 votes)
106 Big Sleep, The (1946) 8.0/10 (7652 votes)
107 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) 8.0/10 (15501 votes)
108 Graduate, The (1967) 8.0/10 (21225 votes)
109 Best Years of Our Lives, The (1946) 8.0/10 (4619 votes)
110 It Happened One Night (1934) 8.0/10 (5855 votes)
111 Manhattan (1979) 8.0/10 (9574 votes)
112 Patton (1970) 8.0/10 (10802 votes)
113 Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 8.0/10 (60404 votes)
114 Deer Hunter, The (1978) 8.0/10 (21115 votes)
115 Yojimbo (1961) 8.0/10 (6029 votes)
116 Ladri di biciclette (1948) 8.0/10 (5363 votes)
117 Searchers, The (1956) 8.0/10 (7823 votes)
118 Glory (1989) 8.0/10 (17253 votes)
119 Forrest Gump (1994) 8.0/10 (67662 votes)
120 Philadelphia Story, The (1940) 8.0/10 (8164 votes)
121 African Queen, The (1951) 8.0/10 (11026 votes)
122 Bringing Up Baby (1938) 8.0/10 (7003 votes)
123 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 8.0/10 (10873 votes)
124 Ben-Hur (1959) 8.0/10 (16191 votes)
125 Green Mile, The (1999) 8.0/10 (43799 votes)
126 Once Upon a Time in America (1984) 8.0/10 (13023 votes)
127 Shrek (2001) 8.0/10 (44635 votes)
128 Hable con ella (2002) 8.0/10 (7858 votes)
129 Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983) 8.0/10 (64632 votes)
130 Unforgiven (1992) 8.0/10 (23201 votes)
131 Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) 8.0/10 (8736 votes)
132 Stalag 17 (1953) 8.0/10 (5230 votes)
133 Grapes of Wrath, The (1940) 7.9/10 (5879 votes)
134 Night of the Hunter, The (1955) 7.9/10 (5612 votes)
135 Gone with the Wind (1939) 7.9/10 (22327 votes)
136 Christmas Story, A (1983) 7.9/10 (15257 votes)
137 Wild Bunch, The (1969) 7.9/10 (8220 votes)
138 Straight Story, The (1999) 7.9/10 (10781 votes)
139 Elephant Man, The (1980) 7.9/10 (12124 votes)
140 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) 7.9/10 (47560 votes)
141 All Quiet on the Western Front (1930) 7.9/10 (5022 votes)
142 Hustler, The (1961) 7.9/10 (6208 votes)
143 Back to the Future (1985) 7.9/10 (52799 votes)
144 Platoon (1986) 7.9/10 (26110 votes)
145 Young Frankenstein (1974) 7.9/10 (16967 votes)
146 His Girl Friday (1940) 7.9/10 (4956 votes)
147 Dogville (2003) 7.9/10 (4045 votes)
148 Amores perros (2000) 7.9/10 (9325 votes)
149 Die Hard (1988) 7.9/10 (45800 votes)
150 Monsters, Inc. (2001) 7.9/10 (26989 votes)
151 Adventures of Robin Hood, The (1938) 7.9/10 (5272 votes)
152 Grande illusion, La (1937) 7.9/10 (3788 votes)
153 Gold Rush, The (1925) 7.9/10 (4670 votes)
154 Mystic River (2003) 7.9/10 (8726 votes)
155 Spartacus (1960) 7.9/10 (12675 votes)
156 Lost in Translation (2003) 7.9/10 (13271 votes)
157 Charade (1963) 7.9/10 (6550 votes)
158 Life of Brian (1979) 7.9/10 (25010 votes)
159 Almost Famous (2000) 7.9/10 (28689 votes)
160 Smultronstället (1957) 7.9/10 (3452 votes)
161 Gladiator (2000) 7.9/10 (70413 votes)
162 Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The (1962) 7.9/10 (5351 votes)
163 Festen (1998) 7.9/10 (9095 votes)
164 Conversation, The (1974) 7.9/10 (7498 votes)
165 Witness for the Prosecution (1957) 7.9/10 (3772 votes)
166 Bronenosets Potyomkin (1925) 7.9/10 (4185 votes)
167 Toy Story (1995) 7.9/10 (35649 votes)
168 Magnolia (1999) 7.9/10 (34230 votes)
169 Sling Blade (1996) 7.9/10 (16392 votes)
170 Roman Holiday (1953) 7.9/10 (6953 votes)
171 Being John Malkovich (1999) 7.9/10 (41403 votes)
172 Insider, The (1999) 7.9/10 (21903 votes)
173 Brazil (1985) 7.9/10 (24095 votes)
174 Night at the Opera, A (1935) 7.9/10 (4533 votes)
175 Streetcar Named Desire, A (1951) 7.9/10 (7125 votes)
176 All the President’s Men (1976) 7.9/10 (9738 votes)
177 Day the Earth Stood Still, The (1951) 7.9/10 (7793 votes)
178 Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) 7.8/10 (5408 votes)
179 Quatre cents coups, Les (1959) 7.8/10 (4469 votes)
180 Shadow of a Doubt (1943) 7.8/10 (3957 votes)
181 Mulholland Dr. (2001) 7.8/10 (24212 votes)
182 To Be or Not to Be (1942) 7.8/10 (2600 votes)
183 Killing, The (1956) 7.8/10 (4866 votes)
184 Exorcist, The (1973) 7.8/10 (24959 votes)
185 Ed Wood (1994) 7.8/10 (15821 votes)
186 Trois couleurs: Rouge (1994) 7.8/10 (7977 votes)
187 Ying xiong (2002) 7.8/10 (5712 votes)
188 Terminator, The (1984) 7.8/10 (46108 votes)
189 Stand by Me (1986) 7.8/10 (23530 votes)
190 Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922) 7.8/10 (5900 votes)
191 Dog Day Afternoon (1975) 7.8/10 (10672 votes)
192 Twelve Monkeys (1995) 7.8/10 (48697 votes)
193 This Is Spinal Tap (1984) 7.8/10 (14874 votes)
194 Harvey (1950) 7.8/10 (5901 votes)
195 Gandhi (1982) 7.8/10 (12057 votes)
196 Miller’s Crossing (1990) 7.8/10 (10404 votes)
197 Lion in Winter, The (1968) 7.8/10 (4402 votes)
198 Adaptation. (2002) 7.8/10 (14926 votes)
199 Trainspotting (1996) 7.8/10 (39792 votes)
200 Network (1976) 7.8/10 (7019 votes)
201 Right Stuff, The (1983) 7.8/10 (10378 votes)
202 Groundhog Day (1993) 7.8/10 (33111 votes)
203 Whale Rider (2002) 7.8/10 (4909 votes)
204 Midnight Cowboy (1969) 7.8/10 (9834 votes)
205 Rain Man (1988) 7.8/10 (32835 votes)
206 Bonnie and Clyde (1967) 7.8/10 (9461 votes)
207 Hotaru no haka (1988) 7.8/10 (4098 votes)
208 Laura (1944) 7.8/10 (3483 votes)
209 Others, The (2001) 7.8/10 (26287 votes)
210 King Kong (1933) 7.8/10 (7547 votes)
211 Snatch. (2000) 7.8/10 (30640 votes)
212 8½ (1963) 7.8/10 (5732 votes)
213 Stagecoach (1939) 7.8/10 (4171 votes)
214 39 Steps, The (1935) 7.8/10 (5721 votes)
215 Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) 7.8/10 (24508 votes)
216 Minority Report (2002) 7.8/10 (36299 votes)
217 Strada, La (1954) 7.8/10 (3534 votes)
218 Traffic (2000) 7.7/10 (32693 votes)
219 Passion de Jeanne d’Arc, La (1928) 7.7/10 (2245 votes)
220 Untouchables, The (1987) 7.7/10 (23414 votes)
221 Thin Man, The (1934) 7.7/10 (3511 votes)
222 Big Lebowski, The (1998) 7.7/10 (35394 votes)
223 In the Heat of the Night (1967) 7.7/10 (4830 votes)
224 Beauty and the Beast (1991) 7.7/10 (19245 votes)
225 Rio Bravo (1959) 7.7/10 (5323 votes)
226 Henry V (1989) 7.7/10 (6887 votes)
227 Todo sobre mi madre (1999) 7.7/10 (9973 votes)
228 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) 7.7/10 (34461 votes)
229 Planet of the Apes (1968) 7.7/10 (15468 votes)
230 X2 (2003) 7.7/10 (24301 votes)
231 Fantasia (1940) 7.7/10 (11965 votes)

232 Being There (1979) 7.7/10 (8044 votes)
233 Red River (1948) 7.7/10 (2758 votes)
234 Good Will Hunting (1997) 7.7/10 (48614 votes)
235 Die xue shuang xiong [John Woo’s The Killer] (1989) 7.7/10 (6822 votes)
236 Ikiru (1952) 7.7/10 (2434 votes)
237 Bride of Frankenstein (1935) 7.7/10 (3125 votes)
238 Big Fish (2003) 7.7/10 (7383 votes)
239 Beautiful Mind, A (2001) 7.7/10 (31270 votes)
240 Clerks. (1994) 7.7/10 (31450 votes)
241 E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) 7.7/10 (34895 votes)
242 Sleuth (1972) 7.7/10 (3615 votes)
243 Quiet Man, The (1952) 7.7/10 (5597 votes)
244 Man Who Would Be King, The (1975) 7.7/10 (6497 votes)
245 MASH (1970) 7.7/10 (12168 votes)
246 Heat (1995) 7.7/10 (32586 votes)
247 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) 7.7/10 (11101 votes)
248 Road to Perdition (2002) 7.7/10 (21903 votes)
249 Man for All Seasons, A (1966) 7.7/10 (3497 votes)
250 JFK (1991) 7.7/10 (20923 votes)

One Valentine weekend

One Valentine weekend was in Napa. We were both tired and drained from the work week. We arrived too late for our mud baths, but we go out massages. Too late for dinner, we begged for some bread to eat. And a fantasy out of my chaotic mind was made a reality, has my body, my mind, my senses, and my sex were pleasured at the same time. And we played in the water and made love on the bed.
One Valentine weekend was in Saint Helena. We were both tired and drained from the work week. Words were said and temperatures rose. However, our bodies were massages, our faces were cleansed, and our bodies were scrubbed. And we were like babies, fresh from the womb. Our hearts were lifted and we slept in each other arms. The next day we basked in the glow of the sun and took pictures full of love and happiness.
One Valentine weekend, I went shopping. I bought the best cuts of meat that I could. I bought fresh vegetables, a loaf of French bread. I toiled and cooked in the kitchen until the meal was prepared. I cleaned the house from top to bottom. I washed and bathe myself until I shined. I lit candles and placed them around the house. And I waited and waited, believing and praying that love and faith would be enough.
One valentine weekend, I went driving into the darkness. Over the hills and through the valleys, wandering with no direction. And somewhere along the coast, I pulled off to the side of the road. I looked up to the stars twinkling in the sky, to the clouds moving across the sky, to the moon waning into nothingness. All I listened to the waves crashing on the shore, and I let it all lure me to peace.

OK Cupid Personality Test

Click Here To See Results.

Friday Five for February 13, 2004

1. Are you superstitious? No. At least I don’t think so.

2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition? Can’t think of any instance. I’m sure there has been some, but I can’t think of them

3. Believer or not, what’s your favorite superstition? Either the one about opening an umbrella indoors or a black cat crossing the street.

4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual? I do believe in luck. No matter how much skill, planning, etc. you do, there is always that lucky/x factor that can’t be measured or controled. It’s just there. Don’t have a lucky number or clothes of any kind. It’s prbably more sacriligeous than anything, but I do make the sign of the cross on myself if I am trying something difficult or reckless.

5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not? I do believe in astrology. In Western Astrology, I am a Taurus; In Chinese Astrology, I am a Tiger. Not sure why I believe in it. I know that the descriptions are vague and stuff, however they do seem to fit me and my personalities. Maybe it because it’s so vague that I can allow myself to believe in it.

Taurus Horoscope for week of February 12, 2004

Happy Valentine Daze, Taurus! The Goddess of Love, Aphrodite Herself, has asked me to remind you that you have always been in love. You will always be in love. In fact, it is impossible for you not to be in love. You’d be unable to get out of bed each morning unless there were someone or something that roused your heart and stirred your imagination. So please just admit that you are alive because of love; that you are made of love. Now write a list of the ten things you love most, and devote some time in each of the next seven days to expressing your appreciation.

What Flavour Is Your Personality?

Question 1
Results
You chose pretzels
If a bag of pretzels suit you, then you are a lively sort of person, who loves novelty and are easily bored with the same old routine. You look for new challenges at work and at home, and you can spend hours mulling over abstract concepts while you munch on your pretzels – too bad you forget about dinner.
You are quickly tired of a clothing trend and are off to find the latest style. You may be a collector, too, with a herd of ‘beanie babies’. Now you’re looking for the next fad. Pretzel lovers are intuitive and make decisions based more on emotions than on logic, and they may be overly trusting in romantic relationships. While they may be a wonderful party guest, and fun to be with, they are vulnerable, too.
Note: Pretzel lovers have a tendency to move on to new projects before they finish the old ones, and they may overcommit to work projects and deadlines – they may take on more family chores than they can handle too.
Question 2
Results
You chose chocolate chip
If you chose chocolate chip, then you are best described as a visionary who goes by the motto: I came, I saw, I conquered. These are the competitors, the go-getters, and the types who can’t stand losing. They are also charming and generous on their journey to the top, but they are not pleasant to be around when they suffer a defeat.

What is my Scrabble score?

Pholph’s Scrabble Generator

My Scrabble© Score is: 15.
What is your score? Get it here.

Book Of Questions – Love & Sex: Question #40

If Your partner completely lost his or her temper and started smashing dishes and furniture, what whould you do? What would you do if the anger were directed at you and you were slapped, hit, or threatened? What would you do if either of these started happening every six months or so?

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