Trouble sleeping…

Took some Nyquil early while I was watching Margaret Cho. Had to stop it 2/3 done because Nyquil was kicking in early. Besides I was disappointed with the DVD. Margaret Cho is funny, but the movie was really slow paced; there was this incredible long pause between all of her jokes/monologues.
Anyway, during a twisting, fever induced sleep, I started thinking and realized that while I have forgotten about the security deposit for a new place when I move out. I have no money for a security deposit right now. I mean, I would get back my part of the deposit from here, but that would only be $250 and some of that would be taken out for the marks on the wall when I tried to get my bed upstairs. I should be getting a refund from my taxes; with the amount that they took out, I had better. But it won’t be as much as last year when I was a student and got the $1000 credit.
Anyway, I started freaking out and couldn’t go to sleep. Was thinking about how I would have to live in my car; how I would have to sell my car and in the process, lose Suzanne forever. I lost my job somehow too and for some reason couldn’t claim unemployment. I finally ended up at my parents with just the clothes on my back, dirty and disheveled. Horrible thoughts, but I couldn’t get them out of my head.
So now I’m looking at apartment listings at Craigslist, trying to calm myself down. There are 2 bedroom apartments for $1400 and less, and the security deposits are not that bad. But still, financial wise, this is going to be another tough year for me. Blah. I’m going to have to get that 2nd job sooner or later.
Now, I think that I am going to go and fix some hot tea in hopes that it stops my coughing and puts me to sleep.
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