I’m sure that Suzanne is pissed at me for not talking to her yesterday. I had forgotten that I had turned the ringer off on my phone until I had read her LJ. And I actually tried calling her when the computer crashed, yet again. (It had taken 3 crashes just to get on the internet) Anyway, I decided that I didn’t want to talk to anybody; I just wanted to be alone in my misery and sadness. So I turned off the computer, turned off the cell phone, and crawled into bed.
I know this pissed her off; I’m sure the secret journals and the hidden posts are just screaming at what a selfish bastard that I am. Actually, I have changed. I wanted to withdraw into myself for a long time now. And I actually would like nothing better than to stay hidden and withdrawn for a while longer. But, if I did that, then she would really be mad. So I will call her in a couple of hours. We are going on a picnic on Saturday in Golden Gate Park. hopefully, it will be a beautiful day.
**sigh** We are so different; what kind of future can we have? I just deal with it with my usual advoidance. Like they say, it is easier to jump off of a cliff with your eyes close.
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horangee
A 50-something pretending to live in California.
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