Am I mad at Peter because he know what he is going to do with his life and I don’t. While I am rotting away at a dead end job, he will be following his dreams and making shitloads of money as a movie director?
Or is it the fact that he is just one big pot head, going to school on mommy and daddy’s money; this jon is just to cover all the pot he buys.
God Damn! I am in just a PMS/Bitch mood right now. Actually, I want to cry; I must be on the rag. Maybe I need the drugs to control my mood swings.
And yet, this is the most active that I have felt in a long time. I just thrive on evil, hateful, and negative feelings. I’m sure if I felt more hateful in my classes, I might care a little more than having the apethic additude that I have.
I need to get out of this bad aura before I see Suzanne tonight. **sigh** Think happy thoughts…
What I need is for Suzanne to help me clear my vision and to show me the good, happy, beautiful person that is inside of me. That is one of the biggest reasons that I love her; is because she can see this even when I am being an asshole or when I can’t see it in myself. If she stopped seeing that part of me, I think that my life would pretty much be over.
**sigh** Think happy thoughts…….
Oh yeah baby……
That’s it honey…..
Wait a minute? Am I suppose to be thinking happy thoughts or horny thoughts?
A 40-something rediscovering life in California