2 arby roast beef sandwiches
1 can A+ Creme Soda
2 fig newtons
1 tall mocha w/shot of vanilla and whipped cream
1 chocolate croisant
O.K. I’ve got to stop drinking coffee. I don’t think that my body can take it anymore. I used to be able to down a couple of mochas and lattes a day. Now, one mocha and i’m sick as hell. yuck.
So I talked to financial aide and my check will be mailed on Wednesday. **sigh** I changed the address, so hopefully it will get to me. I still haven’t heard from Danielle in Housing about my mail being forwarded. I guess I’ll wait until tuesday to tackle that beast. I have a list of complaint including the mail, my bed and my chair being broken. The chair I will just switch with Questal, since he is using his chair just to put his clothes on. The bed, I want to get a new one. Besides the fact it is too small for me. The boards on the bottom are broken, cause it sinks in the middle. I’ll complain, but I doubt that they will do anything about it.
Peter and Tim got pay raises at the warehouse. Amber says that mine should be here soon. It it raining today, so I’m assuming that the baseball game is cancelled. Maybe not. Well, it looks like it’s raining according to the web cam at Pac Bell Park. We’ll see. Maybe they will do something else and still want me to babysit.
Class was boring. My Asian Hist teacher is really hard to understand and I wonder if he knows what he is doing. O.k. I guess it’s only the second day of class. But I read the assign chapters and didn’t really understand them. There is no corhiesion to them; they jump all around Chinese history, which is 5000+ years. That’s alot to skip around in.
CA History was O.k. The teacher decided to take roll. It took like 5-10 min. The class is 50+ people. It’s a pretty big class. Anyway, it will be hard to participate with so many people in the class.
Last night I did laundry, or half of it anyway. There was a Korean couple down there with their two kids, singing songs. Some of them I remembered, it was kinda sad. I wanted to talk to them, but I kinda chickened out. It’s like they (Koreans) treat me like an American. Most are guarded and I’ve had a few talk about me in Korean, thinking that I wouldn’t understand. I don’t think i will ever be truly korean. **sigh**
Hmm. I should check and see how much money I have left in my account. I still need to go grocery shopping and pay Shawn back some money. I wonder if I will ever be in the black with my finances.
I’ve taken tons of pictures of school this week, but haven’t uploaded them yet. I’ve been connecting onto AOL at 33kps and that is just too slow for uploading. Word is october is when we will be able to move into the on-campus apartments. I’m thinking not until spring semester.
I haven’t seen anybody from last year this week. Like Tim, Ben, Anders, Daniel, or Reina. I hope they are doing well. I wonder where they are all living at. If nothing else, Tim can live at the loft with Noreen. That would be a commute for him though. Don’t know about the others.
Suzanne’s birthday is this week. I sent her an e-card and a real card. I stop short of sending her some flowers. I might change my mind though. I hope she has a fun time with her friends at the RenFaire.
Well, this weekend, I think that it will be an email weekend. I will do an marathon email session and try to email everybody with what’s going on in my life. I’ll also work on Flash this weekend. And I need to do some grocery shopping and some house cleaning. And I’m visiting Shawn and April too. I need to stop at KKD for some doughnut for them. I wonder if I can keep the glazed doughnuts hot enough to reach Vacaville for April?
O.K. Time for class. **sigh** another hour of trying to pay attention and not to fall asleep.
Current mood: sick
Current music: muttering of the two ladies to my right
Was watching an episode of Transformers (the new Transformers, the Beast War crap.) Anyway, one of the robots was this robot named Noble. He was a wolf like robot; good guy, noble an heroic. But when his rage got to him, he would transform into this dragon like beast named Savage, unable to control his temper and he would attack all who were near him. Eventually we find out that Noble/Savage is really Megatron, the leader of the evil Decepticons (are they even called that anymore) and he discards his Noble self and fully becomes his Savage, evil self. But at the end of the show, Noble, who looks dead, open his eyes and we see that there is a spark of life in him.
I kind of feel like this. Today was my karate class. And I sat though the class and listened to all the usual intro BS. After class, this foreign guy, sounded like he was Russian or something tried to talk to me about incomplete. Basically, I’m taking the class over again, and not making up the incomplete. So my incomplete will become an F. He was trying to tell me that I shouldn’t do that, but I brushed him off rudely and stormed out of class. Has I was walking to my car, I was just shaking with rage and hate. “Who the hell does this fuckin commie think he is?” I was so furious. I realized how pissed I was and tried to calm down, but all I could think of was how I hated everything and wanted to hurt someone. I thought about so friends of mine who got married. How could they do that without telling me about it. I thought about Jesse, an old friend of mine. He left without saying goodbye to me. He was suppose to invite me to his mom’s wedding. Wasn’t I his friend? How could he not invite me? I thought of an ex-girlfriend of mine. I loved her so much? How could she cheat on me. I thought of Suzanne, I should find someone and goto the Renfair, just so that Suzanne would get hurt. I just thought of everybody I knew and just thought of ways that I could hurt them. I finally got to my car and just sat there and yelled and cried. Just has this anger attack came on to me, it went away. I don’t know what came over me or why I would think such hateful thought towards everybody that I know. But this is what I’m most afraid of, this other side of me. The one that I fight to keep inside of me. I fear that one day, it will be unleashed again (my rage has escaped me). Every day is another day that I guard my inner thoughts and feelings for escaping out onto the world that I know.
Current mood: moody
Current music: Listening to Dave Matthews on Austin City Limits on TV