Book Of Questions – Love & Sex: Question #45

Do you find particular environmental undercurrents especially stimulating sexually – for example, danger, opulence, or formality?  If so, do you ever try to create situations that contain these elements?  What is the most sensuous, erotic, setting you can imagine for love making?

I think the environment can definitely play a role in love making/sexy time.  I have been in “dangerous” and opulence circumstances that have made the encounters more stimulating.  Not sure what a formal situation would be though.  Been to plenty of spas and resorts in Napa/Calistoga and have made love with my partners.  The environmental factor that I like or set up for these kinds of situations is that I need a hot tub/Jacuzzi in the room.  If I’m making the reservations, it’s almost an requirement.  I am so pro bath/Jacuzzi, just soaking my body in the hot water next to my partner, getting the muscles nice and relaxed, just lightly feeling each other and rubbing each other.  I just love it.  One of my fantasies that came true was soaking in a hot tub, eating cheesecake, while getting a blowjob.  The theory being that all of the senses are being pleased at the same time.  Good times.  The blowjob while in the Jacuzzi/bathtub is such a good situation, but I have force myself to let go and trust the person. My weird fucked up train of though is worrying that they are going to choke or drown doing this since I can’t do it since I can’t swim.  **sigh** the thoughts that come up when you are in sexual bliss.  But another spa situation I was in, the two of us got sea salt body scrubs with our massages and afterwards, we went back to our room and spend like an hour rubbing our bodies amazed at how smooth it felt, like a babies backside.

On the danger side, there is the making out/having sex in the car scenario.  One of my FWB, likes to play while driving.  Which again is fun, but I have to let myself go and trust the other person.  I worry not that we will be seen, but that we will get in an accident and we’ll be THAT newspaper or Buzzfeed article; you know what I’m talking about.  And lets be honest, getting (and giving) a blowjob while driving is hard for both the giver and the givee.  With the other FWB, I guess the sex clubs we go to fills the place of danger, although not really.  Mainly we go because we don’t have our own places and its cheaper than a hotel.  But its not like they aren’t safe or anything.  I guess the other danger situation would going to a adult bookstore or cinema, which I used to do in the past, but not really anymore.  There is a danger to them and most of them are sleazy and dirty.  Which I guess can enhance the situation.  Def. a danger for STD and other stuff, but when you are horny, you can overlook a lot of stuff.  Also been outdoors, at a nude beach.  That was a fun time, but again not necessarily a danger.  The beach is split between straight and gay sides and the gay sides have driftwood “huts” which one could hide behind.  Good times but not too worried about my safety or being caught by someone.

The one place I still would like to fool around in environmentally is in the woods.  With all the parks around in the area, you would think that I’ve made it happen yet.  But there is real danger in finding a stranger while walking through the woods and having sex with them.  I mean, they could be a killer and I could dead for weeks before they find my body, and that’s if I don’t get eaten by a bear or a vampire deer. But yeah, fooling around with someone with a tree against our backs and the sun shining down through the leaves is an environmental turn on for me.

Overall, having the right environment is nice and can help things.  But has a guy, it’s not really necessary for me.  I think men in general, we can have sex pretty much anywhere, so the environment is not that big of an issue.  It’s more the physical of the person with us and getting off.  And I think we’ve shown in history that guys can get off anytime, anywhere, with anyone if need be.