No written journal today at Café Allegro. Left it at the car along with the pen/marker case and the coloring books. And the regular books. Trying to lighten my load a bit today due to the pain that I’m carrying in my right shoulder, my mind, and my heart. It’s actually helping, believe it or not; even though I carry my bag on the left shoulder. Hoping/praying that Michelle can massage most of the pain away. From my body anyway; not sure if there is a way to heal the pain in my mind and heart. It’s only been two years here and I’m already tired of battling the thoughts in my head. How am I suppose to last for years like this? Love supposedly trumps hate, but if there is no love, does that mean hate wins? Maybe it’s time to prozac myself and just numb everything.