3am blues

Another lonely night waking up at 3am in the morning. Actually I guess 2am. Going to bed early is not helping at all.

Once again I succumb to boredom and logged onto Instagram. I don’t know why since I can barely see anything on my phone at night. But enough to cut at my mind once again. Seeing her happy puts a smile on my face, even as my mind cries out in pain.

It’s supposed to be cuffing season, right? And yet here I am in my bed, longing to hold someone and keep them warm at night.

I guess I should be happy that I still can feel, even if it’s negative feelings. I don’t want the soullessness on being on Prozac (or was it ability) but would it be any worse than the place I am at now?

I should try to go back to sleep and to my dreams and memories. Frayed at the edges, but still enough to calm and soothe the soul.

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