Book Of Questions: Love And Sex-Question #19

Have you remained close friends with any former lovers? If not, would you like to have done so? I thought I had answered this question before. But I searched the website and couldn’t find it. I wonder if I did it in a written journal. Anyway I am friends with almost all my former lovers, which is an amazing feat in itself. Teressa I have known since coming so SF State in 1999. Brent and I have known each other since Solano. April & Kathy go back all the way to Vaca High. It has not always been easy and I do think the friendships are as close as they once were. But I do consider them my friends and would willing help them and their families in whatever way I could. Especially in this social/ mobile age of Facebook & Instagram, I think in someways it is easier to have someone has a friend that is in an outer lever than when they were the center of ones universe.

This is an double edge sword however, with me not being friends with Suzanne a perfect example. With April & Kathy, our relationships were over before the internet explosion of the late 90’s/early 2000’s. There was enough out of sight/ out of mind for hearts to heal and time to move on (even if I was kicking and screaming.). Suzanne haunted me longer and longer due to the internet and the short degrees of separation between us. I guess it wasn’t that short, but we are linked through the sister of a coworker who was an hair stylist for Suzanne. My hang ups also played a part in this, not to try and pass blame or anything.

Still, even though I have moved on, the friendship that Suzanne and I had is something I miss very much. Too many times I could have used her wisdom and faith to help and hold up my own. Of course posts like this do little to help me in this circumstance. And while I have finally tempered my expectations, I still hold on to some hope that one day she will reach out to me and that maybe we can be friends again.

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