HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Jerry Falwell Christian
(a.k.a. “Historicist” or “Literalist”)
You view the Bible as historically accurate and divinely inspired. You go to church every Sunday, with the Good Book in a Bible cover, and Wednesday night for Bible study. You’ve read at least one of the books in the apocalyptic “Left Behind” series, prefer your iced tea very sweet, and suspect Bill Clinton has murdered somebody somewhere in Arkansas. You watch “Touched by an Angel,” even though you think it’s not Christian enough. You may watch Mother Angelica’s Eternal Word Television Network, and you adore Dr. Laura, Chuck Colson, James Dobson, and Rush Limbaugh. If you’re Catholic, you go to Latin Mass and weekly confession, though you don’t have much to confess. You think homosexuals are sinful but try periodically to love them. You think the surrounding culture is so polluted that you shop at Christian bookstores, listen only to Christian radio and send your kids to Christian or parochial schools–or homeschool them. You give generously to your church and Christian charities. The Bible provides you not only a direct connection to God but a roadmap for how to lead your life.
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