**note** Is it wrong to ask you not to reach out to the family. I’m not sure but I’m going to ask you anyway to not reach out.
A couple of weeks ago, my aunt Jackie passed away. I flew out for the viewing & celebration of life. She was a sweet and caring soul, bonafide fashionista, and just a bright guiding light for the family, friends, and the church. Between my biological mom passing away and my dad still overseas, she raised me for a while with her family.
It was good to see all of the family and friends that came out to pay their respects and to celebrate her. It was good to cry too, like to know that I can feel sadness and loss unconditionally without questioning if it is genuine or not.
I tried to think of happier times with Aunt Jackie and to celebrate to stories that other’s shared, but selfishly I fought thoughts of how disappointed she is with me, even though I know it’s not true. Disappointed that I could not repay her for all she has done for me. The false narrative is so strong in my mind. I am so deaf and blind to what is true. But Aunt Jackie is a guiding light in the night, bright enough to give me at least a general direction to head in.
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