Book Of Questions: Love And Sex-Question #9

When did you find out the most about what pleases you sexually and what was it that you learned?  Have you discovered more through long-standing relationships or through short periods of intimacy with different lovers?

I’m not sure what sexual experience was my most enlightening or when it happened.  Like a lot of things, it’s about continuing to learn, to explore, and to experience.  But what have I learned sexually over the years?  Spelling the alphabet with your lounge going down on a girl is the first thing that comes to mind.  Being attentive to what pleases the partner(s) that you are with.  Communicating with the partner(s) you are with since we haven’t invented mind reading yet or the three shells.  I think the thing that I am still learning is being able to let go of the locks that I have and to enjoy myself.  With guys, I feel it is somewhat easier to do because we basically just want sex.  With women it’s different because they want love and not sex.  And I know that is simplistic and maybe sexist, but it’s early morning on the ferry and the coffee is still kicking in.  I guess the thing is consent, partly anyway.  I feel like I can’t let go completely because I have to be ready to stop if the person I’m with decides to change their consent.  And it’s hard to put the brakes on something like this if you’re going at it full steam.  Not saying that you shouldn’t stop or you have the right to keep going; just playing both sides of the argument like I always do.  Anyway, this was also…emphasized with going out with Suzanne and her being Christian and saving herself for marriage.  The years of dancing near or on the line with her and not crossing it was def. a challenge and still affects me somewhat today.  But I feel like I’ve gone off track on the question.  My biggest thing is that I like pleasing my partner.  I like going down on them, I like hearing their moans and seeing their O-face.  That turns me on sexually and gets me off in return.  Also like my nipples played with and my neck kissed.

I’ve probably learned more through all of the partners I’ve been with more that with any one partner.  Mainly because I haven’t had too many long term relationships than anything else.  It would be nice and I’ve semi-fantasied about finding someone to train me sexually.  I imagine it someone older, but I guess it could be someone younger than me.  Kind of had something like that at the nude beach, but I feel like the other person ruined it with too many questions taking us out of the mood.