The Book Of Questions – Question #46

When did you last sing to yourself?  To someone else?The last time I sung to myself was probably in the last few days.  I like singing even though I have little/no talent at it.  I’m always singing to myself in my head, partly as a way to distract from my depressive thoughts.  But also I like how I sound in my head.  I used to sing in the shower when I was in San Francisco, but I stopped when I moved up here since I shower pretty early in the morning.  Not that would make a difference since it seems that my parents never sleep at night.  One of my most vivid memories is April and I laying on the sidewalk at 3am in the morning and her giving me some basic singing tips, like singing with your stomach instead of your throat.  It’s one of the memories of us that I really treasure.  I’ve sung in a kids choir in Korea for christmas or something.  And I’ve done karaoke with the bookstore crew a few times.  I think I have a decent voice, if untrained.  I guess I just sing pop…no I think I sing whatever is playing at the time.  Don’t think I rap though.  Listening to “How Do You Want It” by 2Pac, K-Ci & JoJo of Jodeci and I’m singing the K-Ci/Jojo parts more than the 2Pac parts.  Actually, what I do more than sing is imagine music videos for my songs.  Usually involve my friends and past relationship, but there are a few songs that I have video game theme to.  Another “I wish…” that I could have gotten into film somehow.

The last time I sung to someone else was last week at work with Heidi.  Heidi and I sing quick bits to each other all the time.  Usually just reworking whatever song is playing on the Muzak at the time.  I’ve been like this at all of my jobs in regards to singing spontaneously for no reason.  Nothing too productional, just quick bits.  like I said before, have also done karaoke with the bookstore crew.  Don’t think I sung too much with April because of self conscious.  And I don’t think I did with Kathy or Teresa.  But I know I sung to Suzanne a lot, usually exaggerated in the car going somewhere or in the bedroom.  I think singing, like other personality quirks, is something that you keep private unless you are trusting of the person(s) and the environment.  I mean, that’s why we sing in the shower (besides the acoustics).  The fact that I sing at work is a sign that I’m comfortable with the people there.  And to sing to someone special is lowering one of the many walls that I have built to protect me from my real and imaginary threats.