Monthly Archives: November 2014

A friend of mine died yesterday on Thanksgiving after battling cancer, leaving a wife and two beautiful daughters. Everyone is offering their prayers and sympathy for the family. I know that he is up in heaven, has him and his family were very devout Christians. I think I’m suppose to be happy about this, but all I have is smoldering anger at God for taking a strong, wonderful individual from this Earth. This is probably because I only believe in God and don’t worship him, but I don’t understand and I am arrogant enough to want a better answer than “It’s part of God’s plan.”

I wish that I had a chip in my head to record my thoughts sometimes. I think I write some beautiful prose and lines describing the scenery as I drive to the ferry and goto work.

Of course, knowing me, I would forget to turn it off and it would also record the ugly thoughts that I have to fight down everyday.

And here’s a picture of me for the hell of it.

Electronic Opus by BT — Kickstarter.

It’s so peaceful and relaxing watching the sky change from darkness to daybreak from the windows of the ferry.

It’s also good to get that last hour of sleep while on the ferry. Unfortunately, I get too paranoid that I will start snoring, so I really don’t sleep.

So according to my doctor at the clinic, I am officially diabetic and have high cholesterol. I am a little skeptical on the diabetes diagnosis since Wikipedia says something different (if it’s on the Internet it must be true, right?). Anyway, appointment in two weeks to discuss it. Not sure how I’m going to give up sugar and fat. The truth is, they are as much of my depression treatment as my group and the drugs I take. Splenda sucks in coffee; maybe if I do a Splenda/sugar mix to dilute it and get used to it first. Def going to have to give up the pastries though. Not sure about the exercise though; can’t afford the gym or taking a class anywhere. Hopefully the commute exercise is enough.

This is going to be the first WOW expansion that I haven’t purchased at midnight or played. Been playing WOW since the beta, but slowly after a few tries, put the Warcrack pipe down. In some ways, I’m surprised that I’m strong enough to resist getting back into it. But the other part of me wonders if this is more proof that I’m getting older with he lack of interest in things that I used to love.

So unmotivated to do anything productive.  Or even unproductive.  There are so many things that I could be doing and I’m not.  Think that I’m going to go upstairs and try to go to sleep.

A longish day of being somewhat depressed. Spent all day listening and skipping to the sad love songs for some reason. I think the sun being out help me from going totally to the dark side. Hopefully I can make it the next couple of days.