Daily Archives: January 17, 2014

How Big Is Your Penis?


HOLY COW. Your penis is gigantic. GIGANTIC. Your penis is literally the biggest thing within the tri-city area. Your penis is bigger than a small elephant. It is bigger than, like, a tree. A big ol’ tree. Lots of branches on your penis. You must wake up every morning and thank the good lord above. You are truly blessed. Congrats.

Which Star Wars Are You?

A Stormtrooper

What City Should You Actually Live In?

You got: Portland

You are a free spirit, but not in the LA way, in the “you’re probably more cultured than most of your friends” way. You’re up-to-date on all the latest coffee brewing techniques, have a long list of local blogs you love to read, and can taste the organic goodness in every bite you eat. Move to Portland already, you sexy smarty pants.