Book Of Questions – Love & Sex: Question #139

At your age (43), do you think it is easier for men or women to find a good partner?  In what ways do you think the aging process is different for men and women?

I feel like this question would have been worded differently if the book would have come out later than it did (1989).  If we were talking about pre-internet days, I would say that it would be easier for men to find a good partner over women.  But fast forward to 25+ years and with internet dating, Tinder, and other dating apps and websites, I feel like it’s pretty even for both sexes to find good partners.  You don’t have to go through a lot of the basic info searching, because that is all in their bios or profiles.  And there are sites for specific tastes and/or fetishes.  I know several people that met their partners online and now are married.  For some reason, I can’t get into online dating.  I have a profile on a few sites, but I don’t really keep up with it and I am always hesitant to meet my matches and those people that message me.  The same with hook up sites/apps.  I’m more fascinated with who’s around than actually hooking up.

The aging process is still more bias to men compared to women.  Women still need to look like they are in their 20-30’s for a long as possible, then there is a flip and they have to race to this older, statuesque model of themselves to be considered beautiful.  Men on the other hand can get away with their bodies depreciating.  I mean ‘dadbod’ is/was a thing.  It’s ok to have a little gut, to be a little scruffy, a bit out of shape.  There is still this race to look young like women, but it’s not as urgent rush to stay there.  And as for getting old, I think it just get to a ‘don’t give a fuck’ point with guys.  I think women have the same attitude, but it take a bit longer for them to get to that point.

On the gay side of thing, I think it leans more like what women have to deal with.  There I def. the discrimination or bias against older men, unless they are in-shape/good looking.  But then again, there are bears/pigs so I guess there’s a way out or a new path one could take.  **sigh** Getting old is not easy.  Need a lot of work done on this face and bodyWIN_20170314_13_39_31_Pro