Book Of Questions – Love & Sex: Question #20

When you first have sex with someone, is it more important to you that your partner is a “good” lover or that your partner thinks you are a “good” lover?

Trying to remember my first times with peoples.  I mean, the first times are rarely ever choreographed or goes according to plan, right?  At least for one of the people involved.  And with the first time (with anything actually), there is that first time rush or spark or excitement that comes with doing something or someone.  And we are usually focused with that, right?  But being me, I am usually more focus on the other person’s pleasure than mine, so I guess I’m hoping that they thing that I’m a good lover.  Or at least getting the touches and the licks right?  Yeah, I’m usually worried about me pleasing them that I don’t focus so much on my own pleasure.  Which is a problem.  Is it trust issues? My depression?  <insert something witty here>.  I have been able to let the wall down and focus on myself, but it is hard and it’s somewhat rare.