Thoughts While Mowing The Front Lawn

Front Lawn

  • Didn’t I just do this like a week or two ago

  • What they say about kids growing up like weeds is true
  • If I would have listened to my mom and let her arrange a wife for me, I might have kids who could be doing this for me now.
  • (From the dog) I thought you were supposed to cut in straight lines? Those rows aren’t straight. Maybe you should have some coffee.
  • How did I miss running over that weed, it’s so big (that’s what she said)
  • Isn’t school out yet? Shouldn’t there be a kid going door to door wanting to cut lawns for a quarter or something (I’m sure with inflation, that quarter is now $20)
  • (From the dog) Why are you even doing this? The lawn looks like crap. I don’t even poop on it, I go across the street and poop on the other grass; it’s so much nicer.
  • Why is that weed still standing, I know I went over it
  • There are so many weeds, that even the moles/gophers have moved on to other yards. Hmph, the least they could do is dig up the rest of the yard so I can plant seeds and try to save the lawn.
  • (From the dog) OMG, you found my toy!!! OH, OH, OH throw it and I’ll go fetch it! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! **throws toy, dog takes two steps** Bored now, I’m going back inside to beg for treats from daddy.
  • Maybe my lawn mower blade is dull.  Why can’t Kurt Wallner & Lesa Rae be up in Spokane visiting his parents so I can drive 4 hours to have him sharpen it for me.
  • Why won’t that weed die?  It has to be the lawn mower blade.
  • Now I know where all that money goes in baseball & football.  It must cost a fortune to keep the fields looking that good.
  • **sigh** if I was in California, I could just cover everything with rocks and be done with it.  Saving water and not having to cut grass/weeds.
  • O.K. positive thinking time.  Look at all the different plants that are back here.  I’m sure Sheryl Creer could tell me about them. **Sheryl’s voice in my head** Joe, these are all just a bunch of weeds. I’m a botanist, not a gardener. I’m outta here. Oh, BTW you are standing in Poison Oak. Have fun.
  • I wish I had pictures of what both yards look like with the previous owner, so at least I could have some goal to aspire to.
  • Almost done, at least if I had company over for a BBQ, the lawn would be the second thing the guys would be talking about. (My horrible grilling skills would be the first.)
  • **Lawn mower runs out of gas** Yep, I’m done too.
  • **Huge ass weed standing tall in the sun in the middle of the lawn** You win this round weed.