Blogging is good for me…

According to an article that I read on’s site anyway.

Was I happier when I was blogging more, way back when on LiveJournal?

I def. blogged about the bad/sad things in my life. But was I happier after I did that?

Has opposed to keeping it all inside of me like I am doing now.

So much of my history that I am just letting float away, because I am too scared to talk about it.

Even to a journal that no one looks at.

**checks web page stats**

Yep, no one is looking.

Well, tonight’s depression is mainly a dread that I am going to loose my job because of comments that I don’t remember saying to another employee along with a side dish of hate/paranoia in regards to the roommates and the usual side dishes of not having enough money, never finding someone to love me for me, and being fat as I munch on McDonalds and 7-11.

I had a vision/daydream that I was blowing up balloons and one popped in front of my eyes and I lost my vision.  Along with my loss of hearing, I wanted someone to kill me, but they wouldn’t.  Don’t remember if I did it myself or not.

**sigh**  Of course, this is the kind of talk that all women are looking for in a man.

Really, I should just focus on work.  If I focus on work, then all the other stuff will just go away.