Daily Archives: April 24, 2008

The Birthday begins…

I would be perfectly happy just holing myself up in my room today, and I’m still somewhat considering it.

But I really do have to go to work.  So much to do before inventory.

**sigh**  Chin up; smile on.

The dream…

So I was in my office with Monica, Amber, and Steve Madonna.  The office had been remodeled and there were new computers and the seating arrangement has been switched.  Monica was now where Amber usually sits; Amber was off to the side; and Steve was to my left.  I was playing with the new monitors and figured out that I could resize them from 19″ to 24″ and I wondered why no one had told me that.  I remember Rob, the General Manager coming in and me giving him a hug.  And there was a picture of me and Teresa on my computer screen and I was asking Steve a question.

The biggest WTF is Steve Madonna.  Why would Steve be in my dreams?  Don’t know why I would think about him or what would have triggered a memory of him.  Of course knowing what I do about Steve, it wouldn’t surprise me if he had invented some machine that could allow him to travel through dreams.

Today is my Birthday…

And all I can think about is slitting my wrists.

Which is pretty sad, because I have lots to live for.  Except right now I can’t see those reasons.

Maybe if I took my head out of the sand, I would be able to see them.

But I can’t stop the downward spiral that I feel that I am on.

The one that I am always on.