So fat and the espresso shake that I just had isn’t really helping. I really have to control myself better. More will power. I need more willpower in a lot of things. A lot of things.
Still need to get keys made; will do it tonight.
Don’t believe that I’m taking Paul’s job. I have a feeling that I am going to get fucked. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.
I need to figure out how much to ask for. $5000 more than they offer.
Greed, Anger, Ignorance
Some of the things that are chained to me and keeps me pinned down.
Sometimes…I miss my friends. Although I am learning to live without them…maybe live is too strong of a word since I am not living
I wonder if I have made the correct choice; maybe I should ask for forgiveness. However, in the end, I think I have made the right decision. Some have made attempts to contact me, but i know they are half hearted at best. They have given up on me, has I knew they would, has I wanted them too. The condition that I am in, I am in no place to be a friend to anyone.
Regardless, what is done is done. And for good or bad, it is one less thing to deal with. Or rather it has been dealt with and I can narrow my focus.
“I have the sense to recognize that I don’t know how to let you go…”
I don’t want to be here. I want to be home crying on my bed. I don’t want to be outside, trying to force myself to be at ease with myself, to love myself. But I do what I have to do.
