.alcohol and drugs

[Listening to: Cut Here – The Cure – Greatest Hits (04:11
I hate the fact that I need an outside stimulus in order for me to be more outgoing.

Only by being blitzed out of my mind do I have the nerve to go up to someone else and to start talking to them. At the Redeye, it was with this black girl. Of course I forgot her name, but she had a
mesmerizing quality to her. She was def. unique out of all the other girls that were there.

And then today, after leaving the ball game I was buzzed enough to hit on this girl outside the Academy of Art. I didn’t hit on her, I was just checking her out hard, according to Joy.

Both instances were alcohol induced. If I had a wish, I think that instead of wishing for health or money, I would wish for the ability to
talk to complete strangers. And it’s not just in clubs or out in public; even online, I am loathe to talk to strangers on IM or in forums. Amy, you are a complete fluke that I started talking to you and we became friends. It is so unlike me.

So how do I develop the ability to talk to people without resorting to drugs or alcohol? Better yet, how do I sleep in my bed with all of my clothes on top of it?