.energy drain

Was suppose to goto the Dragon Boat races today at Lake Merced. However, did not have the energy or drive to
leave the house today.

Lesa also called me; they are organizing a last minute BBQ at Barry/Gabi’s. This is the one that they were suppose to have a week ago and two weeks ago. If I didn’t have Angie’s Birthday party to goto, I might have forced myself to go.

I can’t miss Angie’s party, regardless of how I feel.

Also resisting the urge to go and buy stuff to make me happy and to cheer me up. Again, thoughts of a Nokia 3650 camera phone dance in my head. Computer parts are also dancing in my head. I might break down and get the silent case next week and just transport my stuff from the old case to the new case. Or maybe not.

This isn’t even a Suzanne-induced gloom, although has always, she is on my mind. No this is just a natural case of depression that people get. Depression is a natural
occurrence, regardless of what the drug companies want to tell you.

Or is it this wrong? Maybe we are suppose to be happy all the time. Maybe I do need to be shot up with drugs. Maybe I need a
lobotomy (sp?). Maybe I just need to stick a wet finger into an electrical circuit and get some electrical shock
theory.

Going to have to take BART to Angie’s party since the Folsom street faire is just two blocks away. Party starts at 9:30pm, **sigh** A frappuchino would help me out, but 2 blocks is too far, it would take too much energy. Hell, being right next door would be too far.

Actually, this entry is really taxing. Think that I am going to nap and try to gather some energy for later tonight.